(cuz it's just) between us
by Yanna's World
Summary: Season 2 AU. G!P Star. What if Alex and Derek had already broken up before season 2? What if Star and Alex's relationship was far less platonic than anyone knew? And what happens when that relationship - when the girl who pushes everyone away when they get too close, and the girl who rarely lets them get too close in the first place - is forced to endure their rise to fame?
1. Chapter 1

Hiiiii!

This is legitimately my first Star story and definitely my first with an intersex character. Yes, I know that Star is not mine - neither the character nor the show - and as of right now, all of the characters belong to Lee Daniel and FOX, even though FOX don't deserve them after cancelling the fucking show. With that being said, don't flame me too hard for making a cisgender character intersex. I couldn't get the idea out of my head and so here it is. I'm shitty, I know :p

I'm actually a Stalex shipper on the low, even though I'm very much aware that neither girl currently don't (and quite possibly, won't) have non-platonic feelings for one another. However, a shipper's heart will ship what it wants and I hope you enjoy. Please review!

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**CHAPTER 1**

If somebody would've told Alexandra Crane months ago that she'd one day be trying to laugh and smile in front of a bunch of her ex-boyfriend's family and friends - and wasn't it just some shit that none of them _actually_ believed Alex and Derek were over? - while feeling an unmistakable ache between her thighs from getting dicked down only an hour before, she would've told them they got the wrong hoe.

Alexandra Crane had no shame about her sex life - ever - but she was a classy hoe. Always was, always will be. If she was sleeping with anyone and not in a relationship with them, then no one would know about it unless Alex wanted them to. And there'd be no proof of recent...happenings.

And if someone would've told her she'd be grinning to a diss made by Miss Ruby to one of her nephews while still feeling the aforementioned ache that a particular blonde named Star Davis gave her, she'd have definitely laughed in their face and told them they must be high or something.

Given that she was currently aching and it was, in fact, her blonde group member's fault, all Alex could do was cast a glare in the blonde's general direction. All Star did in return was grin at her over the bottle of beer she had sequestered in the corner with one of Derek's cousin's, giving Alex a wicked wink that made her scowl and wish she had turned the girl down an hour ago.

oooOooooOooo

_"What the hell are you - mmmmpphhhh!" Alex's cry broke off into a muffled moan just as Star's lips enveloped hers, the blonde singer's tongue easily sidling past Alex's lips and venturing inside. Alex had just finished packing the rest of her things in preparation of her move to Miss Ruby's and had decided on a shower before she began moving the last of her things to the other house._

_Star hadn't offered any warning. One moment Alex had been in the bathroom alone, the heat fogging up the air around her, and the next Star was in the shower stall with her, pressing her back into cold tiles and keeping her there by pinning the smaller girl with her own body. Too used to the feel of the other girl against her, Alex melted quicker than she thought she should have, sliding her small hands up into Star's wreck of blonde curls, the locks going wet and slippery beneath Alex's fingers as she tugged the blonde closer and pushed into the kiss more, not to be outdone just because she was caught off guard. _

_They'd done this enough times for Alex to know - no matter how much she herself was a control freak - there was only one of them who was in control in moments like these._

_And it wasn't her. _

_"Mmmm - w-wait...Simone - " Alex pulled back, head bumping lightly against the tiled wall, but Star's kisses didn't stop at her mouth._

_"Is downstairs," Star stated as if finishing her statement, lips trailing from Alex's to her jaw and to her throat and down to her chest, teeth nipping at whatever hot flesh they could find and mark. "Carlotta's giving her the third degree and I was told to not have Carlotta worryin' 'bout me when she gotta worry 'bout Simone." _

_Star's mouth spread into a cheeky grin and for the first time since being attacked, Alex noticed that the taller girl was very much as naked as she was. And on her knees, with the sometimes still shocking sight of a large cock sticking almost upwardly and out as if to greet Alex, Star painted a very seductively devious picture that made Alex wetter in ways that the water from the showerhead could not get her._

_A medical mystery of some sort that neither Mary could answer to - and it wasn't like she would have when she was alive because of how often Star said the older crooner had been high - nor could Star's father - a dude named Brody Alex had only gotten the name of after she and Star had had one too many drinks - Star had grown a penis and testicles when puberty hit. It didn't stop her various foster fathers (and even that one mother whose eyes Alex still wants to claw out) from putting their hands where they shouldn't, but it wasn't something the other girl had admitted until they shared a hotel room what seems like a whole other lifetime ago._

_"Can't exactly worry about me when I'm being such a good friend to my girl Alex, can she?" Star purred, mouth hovering over Alex's belly button after each kiss to her chocolate skin, making her squirm in participation even as worry pressed into the back of her skull. _

_"W-we shouldn't do this." Her pussy could throb in indignation all it wanted, or maybe it was just in answer to the hungry look in Star's eyes, but they didn't do this often in the daylight. _

_That one time in the kitchen the other night was purely on accident and it was definitely all Star's fault. Just remembering, though, the way she'd muffled her cries of pleasure as Star bent her over the kitchen table and pounded into her pussy with no restraint and no cares about the other residents of the house because of how late it was made Alex's pussy clench, lust shooting down her spine and to her core. _

_And judging by the glint in Star's eyes, the girl had seen the shiver Alex had tried to hide anyway. _

_"I don't know," Star started slowly, the long and slender fingers of her right hand sliding down slowly from the hip she'd had pinned against the wall still until they ghosted over Alex's clit, a just barely there brush that made Alex suck in a sharp breath and bite her full lower lip. "My mans Obama been preaching 'yes we can' for a few years now."_

_Despite the fact that Star's hand began a slow, rhythmic rub against her clit that made Alex whimper and squirm for more, she tossed her head back on a derisive snort that wanted so bad to be a laugh. She fixed the blonde with a weak glare, "Don't insinuate fucking me while using my president's name in the same sentence." Alex dug her teeth into her lower lip harder, feeling almost ashamed at how easily Star could get her to the edge, even as she seemed to be taking her evil time as she increased the pressure on Alex's clit. _

_"Can't insinuate shit when we both it's gonna happen," she said, slowly rising until she was towering over Alex again, peering down at her with bright and wicked blue eyes, all the while rubbing at Alex's clit and getting Alex's juices all over her fingers. She dipped a finger inside of Alex , making her gasp, just as she continued, "Unless you gonna tell me to stop..."_

_What she wanted to say was that if Star stopped now, Alex was going to fucking kill her. _

_"...you really want me to stop, baby?" Star crooned, biting her own lip as she stared into Alex's eyes, slipping a second finger into the songwriter and making the other girl moan as she began to thrust her fingers inside of her. Warm, wet and tight, Alex's pussy seemed to clutch at Star's fingers as if Star hadn't been inside her nearly three days ago. The thought seemed to make the blonde groan and she shoved her fingers into her friend harder, reveling in the choked off moan that fell from Alex's lips._

_"Staaaarrrrrrrr..." Alex moaned, desperately clutching at the other girl's forearms and yanking her back to her until they were pressed flush against one another again, Star's hand still between her thighs and currently pistoning inside her pussy. "They're...fuck...th-they're gonna hear us - " Hitting the spot inside of Alex that made her hiss in an attempt to cover her louder cry of pleasure, Star watched her friend dissolve into pleasured nothingness, a sense of triumph flooding through her lithe form even as Alex's pussy rippling around her fingers made her cock harder than it already was. _

_"Then I guess you better be quiet, Alexandra," she told the dark-skinned beauty teasingly, watching the girl's glazed eyes. Pulling her fingers out of the girl, Star watched Alex watch her as she brought her fingers to her mouth, sticking her index and middle finger into her mouth and sucking the clear fluid off of them, even as the water beat down on them. It was cooling and they were probably gonna hear Carlotta's mouth afterwards, but considering how much pressure_ _Star felt on her shoulders from Jay Holland badmouthing the group's music and not wanting to help them, she figured she'd deserve the stress relief that came with fucking Alex first. _

_Bringing her hand back to Alex's hips, Star let them trail down to the back of the girl's thighs and, despite her earlier attempts at protesting, Alex jumped up just as Star lifted, settling Star between smooth skin and against heated flesh, her dick bumping against Alex's still hungry and sensitive clit. Star groaned against the other girl's mouth in their next kiss, feeling Alex wrap her arms around Star's shoulders and grind her pussy against the shaft of Star's cock, the tip sliding against their bellies._

_"So, what's it gonna be, Crane?" She couldn't help but ask, knowing damn well what her answer was but wanting to hear Alex say it anyway. It was always better when Alex fully gave in. Alex scowled at her and Star grinded against her harder, making them both moan lowly and gripping the girl's round ass, which made Alex whimper. The girl was a lot more sensitive back there that Star would've thought and it made her think about some interesting happenings for their future. She pulled back just-so, brushing her mouth against Alex's, humming gently when the other girl let out a noise from the back of her throat. "You gonna tell me no?"_

oooOooooOooo

If Alex was smart, she would've told Star no. It was bad enough they'd turned their friendship into...whatever this was...a regular booty call? Fuck buddies? Not-girlfriends-but-somewhat-girlfriends? She honestly didn't know what to call it and a big part of her believed that it shouldn't exist in the first place, but there was a bigger and louder voice that refused to be the one to end things.

What was worse that it happened just before she officially moved into the third bedroom of Miss Ruby's house to help out with Derek and to give Carlotta some space in the house since it just felt like a lot. _Or maybe it just felt like a lot cuz you didn't want no one to know you let Star fuck you when Simone was on the other side of the_ _room_, her brain decided to interject. Shaking her head as if to rid herself of the thought, Alex hung on the back of Derek's wheelchair, dipping down until her chin rested on his shoulder, bringing him back from the silence of his thoughts.

He'd been losing himself a lot like that if she or Miss Ruby didn't catch him.

"You good?" She asked him, wrapping her arms around him from behind that resulted in him bring up a hand to wrap around her wrist, giving it a squeeze.

They'd decided, even when she was pregnant and wanting to keep the baby, that their relationship needed to take a backseat. She had already felt him pulling away once released from the hospital, his only concern when it came to her being about the baby that would have potentially been the only one he could have. When she "lost" it, he'd been comforting, but the distance had grown until they'd sat down and decided that they needed to be friends above all things. It worked and even though a part of Alex missed the security that came with Derek wanting to be with her romantically - which was why they were both slow on correcting people about their relationship status - she was surprised by how much she preferred the easy intimacy of their friendship.

"Yeah, you?" Alex knew he was lying, but then he turned those pensive dark eyes her way and she felt the lie on her tongue even as she answered him.

"Absolutely."

Unbeknownst to Derek, Alex felt Star's gaze on them, dark and penetrating even as the blonde brought the mouth of her beer bottle to her own mouth, taking a large swallow of it to chase the acrid taste she'd already had on her tongue but didn't understand, storming away around the corner so she didn't have to look at them anymore.

Alex didn't chance another look in that direction until she could breathe again, feeling Star's absence even as she felt her stomach knot up in anxiety...and something else.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Weave didn't fix a wounded pride, no matter what Miss Bruce said, but it did make Alex feel a little better...a little different. Made her feel sexy and fresh, new and strangely empowered in a way that her typically long hair did not at the moment. It didn't mean that she would ever consider cutting her own hair; Alex has spent an entire lifetime growing out her hair to its lush thickness and length, and made herself learn how to retain heat without damaging her prized locks. She'd be damned if she cut it on a whim, and she didn't care how bougie it sounded.

It didn't, however, make it all better, no matter how quickly she had raced from the salon to get back to Miss Ruby's house to show it off to Derek.

Ice Queen.

It wasn't the first time the moniker had been hurled Alex's way. It had stung at one point, pinpricks of the very same frost everyone else swore she was ensconced in numbing her cheeks to the point that she couldn't feel the hot and bitter teardrops she hid in bathroom stalls, freezing her from the outside in until her skin was too tight and too cold and too hard to be penetrated by petty insults thrown by petty pretty rich girls with their flat hair and flatter bodies. Alex had learned to embrace the title - embrace how untouchable it made her, how invincible she seemed to the outside world. It was all made easier when said title enabled her to endure one of her mother's drunken fits and her father's tough-love-shrouded dismissiveness, when it kept her from allowing others to wound her in the ways a younger Alexandra had been made defenseless against.

She had not anticipated for the very thing she had once taken pride in to add to her - and her group's - failure to be recognized as buzz-worthy artists.

"Aye," Derek greeted her the second he glimpsed her entrance into the living room. His gaze immediately flitted back to the computer screen she told him not to spend all of his time on, not at all taking in her advice nor her bob. "Come take a look at this."

Alex wasn't surprised to see Derek still invested in his strides for equality and eradicating racism, so she waited him out, hands on slender hips as he continued.

"A man goes to work and finds a noose sitting on his desk." The words made Alex shift on her feet in discomfort, made her remember "black face" parties classmates had had the audacity to ask why she never attended. "Its like, people don't even wanna be subtle no more."

_They were never subtle_, she wants to tell him but keeps it all to herself. _It was inherent and inherited. It was just easy to blow it off as subtle because racism is no more an ideology than it is a way of life for them, how they're indoctrinated into today's society, in the only world their parents want them to know about because for their kids to know any better is for them to know how shitty their parents really are. And white guilt is too heavy a burden to bear. _

Alex still supported Derek's political agenda and his desire for change, but the last time she'd said anything remotely similar to her thoughts, she'd been accused of race-baiting and generalizing. It served her right, she supposed; Alex had only ever attended predominantly white institutions. Why should she have been surprised by how quickly her thoughts had been dismissed in a white setting where only white tears were valid?

So, one hand dropped from a hip and she shifted on her feet again, giving her head a subtle toss, the slight swishing of the short silky strands atop her head catching Derek's distracted gaze.

"Whoa, you look sexy," he breathed and Alex bit back a grin at the way his eyes trailed over her face, as if taking in newer details than her hair. "You cut your hair?" Alex had to contain the snort she felt trying to burst free at what sounded almost like disappointment in his voice.

"No, it's a wig." She told him and made her way over to the couch he'd made himself comfortable on before she left, her arms growing more and more used to assisting him when he didn't want to bother Miss Ruby. "I just thought I'd try something different."

Alex knew that Derek was the one waiting her out, all patience and watchful eyes, and she leaned into the space against his side that he formed for her gratefully, snuggling into him when his arm fell around her petite shoulders. A part of her knew that she pushed the limits sometimes, too eager to accept the affection he was willing to dish out when she knew that their separation wasn't exactly normal, when his gaze wasn't always platonic. Most exes genuinely parted ways; they didn't say they were going to do it and then manage to remain within the same vicinity, opting to live in the same space. Alex couldn't just leave, though, and Derek had made it clear that he didn't want her to. And maybe it was selfish, maybe it would bite them both in their asses but for now, Alex was going to take what she could get, even if he stared longer than he should have sometimes.

"The new head at our label went in on our music. She said it was ordinary." Alex eyed Derek's expression, smirking when she noted the derision on his face.

"The one thing you're not is ordinary." Derek rubbed her shoulder through her light jacket in soothing circles and she took a deep breath.

"Try telling her that."

"I would," Derek said, not relenting in his steady eye contact, "but I know she ain't the one who needs to hear it." Alex's face went solemn and Derek leaned closer, pressing a lingering kiss to her forehead. "This ain't your Dad all over again. And it's damn sure not a reflection of everything he told himself he was warning you about, so don't let 'em get to you."

Alex almost hated how much Derek knew her. She had purposefully not allowed thoughts about her father to infiltrate her mind and yet, not acknowledging those thoughts made them even more apparent to her ex-boyfriend and that made her frown. Her father had not initiated any contact since she returned all of his credit cards and while there were still a few connections he couldn't rid her of, it was like she didn't exist in his world. Alex told anyone who'd listen that it was fine and that she was used to being near invisible to him at times, but that didn't mean she actually believed herself.

Or that Ayanna's criticism didn't hit too close to home.

So, she refused to say anything, neither to disprove Derek's words or to agree. She just sighed and laid her head on his shoulder, shutting her eyes for a moment. Alex felt puffs of Derek's breath graze her head and then felt him shift against her. "Wait, let me touch this real quick," he exclaimed and Alex immediately snapped upright, ducking out from the hand that had rose to graze the realistic off-center part of her wig.

"Don't touch my hair!"

Derek completely ignored her, grinning amidst her giggles and grabbing a hold of her waist. The one thing that had not changed - or maybe it had because sometimes, he seemed stronger than before - was that there was still strength in Derek's arms. He hoisted her up into his lap and Alex tried to resist, but then his fingers dug into her sides, wrenching out peals of laughter. She tried prying away his fingers, but with one hand effectively keeping her too distracted to stop him, Derek used the free one to muss up the silky installation.

"You're a whole ass for that," she accused, shoving at the offending hand only to bite back a squeal when the hand around her waist pressed into her sides again. She distantly heard a voice from somewhere else, but figured it was outside. With the doors usually unlocked and most of the windows down, she'd been privy to hearing bits and pieces of stray conversations in the neighborhood.

"Couldn't help myself." Derek exclaimed and Alex glared at him. The expression melted away when he began tickling her again and Alex writhed on his lap, all flailing limbs and shrieking laughter she'd deny if asked later.

"Yo, Alex!" Alex froze where she was when she finally heard swift footsteps come from the kitchen and into the living room, laugh stolen from her throat though her dark eyes were still alight with mirth when she finally noticed Star peering down at her and Derek. "You ain't hear me callin' you?"

Star had an almost rectangular face shape that her wild curls usually softened, accented by the square jaw that seemed to tense with...well, Alex didn't know what it was that made Star's jaw clench the way that it did, but her baby blues were tinged with attitude that Alex was going to blame on impatience. Star was impatient, after all, and they did have plans. She hated being kept waiting, even though she'd do the same to everyone else and expect their patience.

"No, ummm..."

It was only then that Alex noticed the position she and Derek were in: she had one arm wrapped around his shoulder to brace herself because she felt like she was halfway about to fall, she was practically draped over his lap with her legs part way off the couch, and one of his arms still wrapped around her waist, the only line of defense between her and the hardwood floor, and Alex knew for a fact that the rug Miss Ruby loved so much would not cushion her fall as much as it looked like it would. Alex cleared her throat, eyes shifting from Derek to Star, noting the indiscernible flash in the blonde's eyes, before scrambling to her feet, suddenly overcome with indignation.

Why the hell did she have to feel ashamed?

"We w-were, um, just...joking around," she explained, not at all understanding why she needed to explain anything in the first place. Star's nostrils seemed to flare for whatever reason and it made Alex's hackles rise, made her narrow her eyes, even though Star's next words could also have been the reason for why she suddenly felt defensive.

"My mad, I just thought we all knew we still had work to do." Star didn't wait for Alex to interject and honestly, Alex wasn't even sure what she was going to say because all her mouth did was open and close. The blonde whirled on her feet, tossing back over her shoulder, "Lemme know when you done cuz we 'bout to go." Alex watched Star leave - no, more like _stomped_ her way out and Alex was left gaping.

_What the fuck was that?_ She thought.

"Y'all good?" Derek asked, shaking her from her reverie and Alex had to chide herself because he must have caught the tail end of her own frustration for his eyes lit up with concern, thick brows furrowing slightly. "It's just...y'all been extra...weird for the last two days..."

"You know Star," she said bitterly, placing a placating hand on his arm even as her smile turned sharp, frigid. "Diva's just a fancy word for bitch and she just can't help herself sometimes."

Derek didn't look like he believed her. Alex didn't know what he would believe and truth be told, Star's attitude came from so far left field even she wasn't sure what the hell she was supposed to believe. So, she told him she'd text him whenever she was on her way back in case he wanted something to eat while she was out, and followed the very same path Star had taken to get outside. Simone was already in the car, having delegated herself to the backseat when at the moment, Alex honestly felt like maybe she needed to be back there herself. Star was still outside of the vehicle, leaned up against it with her arms folded over her chest, carefully-lined blues fixed on Alex, as if beckoning her. So, Alex did the only logical thing she could in the situation and strolled right on up to Star, keeping her voice low.

"You gonna tell me what the hell that was back there?" Star shrugged.

"I dunno what you're talkin' about, Alexandra." Star did not say her full name unless she was trying to make a point, was teasing Alex, or was pissed. Alex couldn't tell if it was the third or first option, or a combination of them both. What she did know was that the blonde's tone irked the everlasting fuck out of her.

"Are you being for real right now?" She hissed, glimpsing Simone peer at them curiously and ever so grateful that the curly-haired beauty did not roll down her window. Alex lowered her voice anyway even though Star was tempting her to get louder. "Listen, I don't know what the hell I did, but you've been pissed with me ever since the barbecue." Star shrugged again and Alex wondered what it said about her now that her first desire was to punch the girl when she herself had never been violent before.

"Maybe I'm confused," Star began, shifting against the car, unfolding and folding her arms. "I know I don't mess around with my exes like that once we break up. I mean, then again I'm usually bustin' windows out cars, but what do I know about protocol?" Alex screwed up her face in confusion for a moment, taking a step back as she peered up into Star's...wait, was she jealous?

"Wait a minute - are you -?" Alex had to cut herself off, not even believing her own words but only feeling validated in her belief when Star averted her gaze for a split second, unclenching and clenching her jaw in irritation. Alex's almond-shaped dark brown eyes widened, going from Star back to the house they had been inside, and back to Star, surprise evident. "Were you jealous?"

Star didn't answer.

It went back to Alex's ever-present thoughts that maybe this was a horrible idea, that them sleeping together only made things complicated. Because now she had an explanation for why Star had been damn near dismissive since the barbecue, even though she tended to act another way when other people were present. It made Alex's frustration even more apparent, an ache forming between her brows she knew she'd have to take medicine for if she wanted to get through filming a music video they didn't have permission to film. Yet and still, and she was loathe to admit it, the revelation also made something in her stomach go _swoosh_ before erupting into tiny little flutters that sent a shiver down her spine.

"Star," she said, grabbing a hold of the blonde's arm when Star tried to step past her to round the car to the driver's side. Alex half expected the singer to snatch out of her grip, but Star peering down at her with icy blue eyes was infinitely worse, even if Alex was of the mind that she hadn't done anything wrong. "You know that there is nothing going on between Derek and I. I told you that."

"Whatever you say, Alexandra."

Star didn't look like she believed her and Alex didn't fight the urge to roll her eyes this time, not bothering to stop her when the blonde did snatch out of her grasp to do exactly what she'd been planning before. Star shot her a weak glare over the car and Alex rolled her eyes again, damn near snatching the passenger side door off the hinges when she opened it and threw herself inside. She gained a modicum of satisfaction when she slammed the door shut; Star _hated_ when she did it.

"Y'all good?" Simone asked and Alex wanted to scream at how much she sounded like Derek, how much it was clear that she and Star weren't good and that they weren't going to be good if they both didn't start being mature...even though she was convinced Star was the immature one, getting all jealous when she was the one who said this was just sex even though Alex had assured her she wouldn't be with anyone else.

So, she hissed out, speaking at the same exact time as Star, the blonde's tone flippant and light to Alex's annoyed:

"Never better."

The glare she and Star exchanged a beat later probably did very little to convince Simone of anything.

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**A/N. **Don't forget to leave a review!


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

The word wasn't jealous.

It was territorial, not that Star was admitting to anything of the sort but she couldn't help but derisively want to correct Alex even if she wasn't about to open her mouth to say much of anything to the songwriter that wasn't about their music video. Besides, it wasn't like Star really had the right to be feeling territorial about anything. She was just fucking Alex, shooting off a load when she got annoyed enough or just felt in the mood enough, and didn't feel like going elsewhere. Alex was a convenience wrapped up in an occasionally annoying, but still somewhat appreciated friendship, which only added to her appeal. Nothing more, nothing less.

And that was the only truth Star was going to let herself acknowledge because she hadn't been lying when she had said they had work to do. Even if not one part of their work was supposed to include her sister making out with some basic ass social media bitch.

"You ain't had to do that, Simone." Star told them the second Rachel uploaded their music video on her website, fighting the urge to rip the skank's hand off her arm when the other blonde slipped a piece of paper into Simone's bralette, her number probably.

"Whatever it takes, right?" Simone retorted softly. Star hated the twinge of guilt in her sister's eyes, knowing she put it there because Simone probably thought she disapproved out of disappointment.

"Yeah," she exclaimed, throwing an arm over the girl her sister failed at dodging. Tugging her close, Star's easy smile belied the fire in her ears as she continued, "Just remember you ain't gotta do nothin' that you don't wanna do. I'm not against throwing hands to get what I want either."

Simone tossed her head back and laughed, having to stop their approach towards Alex to buckle over. Star beamed, feeling triumphant even as Alex paused in her lingering conversation with a few of the backup dancers, head tilted curiously as her eyes darted from one Davis sister to the other. _You lucky you cute_, Star thought at her, swallowing the words as her smile fell.

"What's all this about?" Alex asked. Simone still had lingering giggles and tried to explain.

"Star's version of congratulating me for thotting - " Star cut her off.

"Oh, nothing," she stated easily, crisply. Star felt Simone eyeing her, but her attention remained on Alex whose face went unreadable. The three dancers keeping her company exchanged glances before slipping away. Alex only continued to stare at her, causing Star's skin to prickle uncomfortably beneath her attention, body swelling with heated shame - and frustration - at remembering her friend's accusation earlier.

Star hated how right the word Alex chose had been, even if she'd deny it while sober.

"Riiiiiight," Alex eventually declared, unfairly full mouth twisting in displeasure. Rolling her dark eyes, Alex swung her back over her bare shoulder. "Well, when you guys are ready, I'll be by the car. I've gotta call Derek anyway." Star bit back the retort at the tip of her tongue, letting Alex walk away.

And trying really hard to_ not_ look as interested in the slender girl's shapely ass as the distance between them grew. Simone was staring at her knowingly when she finally met her gaze and Star felt her cheeks burn, even as something dropped in her stomach.

"What?"

"You ain't slick," her little sister said, one of those thick, newly trimmed dark eyebrows lifting in judgement. "And you're a bitch." Star's mouth dropped open at the accusation.

"What did I do?"

"You mean other than eye Alex's butt like it's a piece of meat?" Star's lips twitched in amusement. Before she could help it, she was grinning, glimpsing the large, metal garage door Alex had just exited through.

"But you know me and she has such a pretty ass," Star replied. "I can't help but look." Simone rolled her eyes, but her giggle softened the look on her face.

"You're gross." Star only preened, causing her sister to punch her arm lightly. "And what did Alex do?" Star shrugged.

"Nothing." Simone tossed her an annoyed huff, but Star was resolute in her conviction. "Nothing, Simone. I just thought we were having a sisterly bonding moment and that we didn't have to share it with - " Simone cut in with a sneer.

"Bullshit, Star." Star rolled her eyes, beginning to take a few steps towards the door and knowing Simone was going to follow since she had no other ride. Two more steps and she glanced over her shoulder to see the olive-skinned teen eyeing her with an inscrutable expression.

"Simone..."

"Y'all ain't as slick as you think either," Simone told her after a few silent moments of staring her down. Star gritted her teeth, hands wringing her jacket before her. Simone wasn't going to take any bullshitting or lies, so Star decided to meet her where she was.

"How long?" Star asked. "How long have you known about me and Alex, Simone?"

"I remember walking out of that motel bathroom after we picked her up in New York," Simone recalled aloud, shaking her head when Star was quick to open her mouth. "Yeah, I know, you were with Hunter and Alex was with Derek. But I saw you back then that night, the way y'all looked at each other. Felt like I interrupted something."

It was only then that Star remembered that they were not alone, that Cotton had a few guys helping her clean up the makeup and clothing section because Miss Bruce had to rush back to the shop. That there were very much other people here and the awareness made Star even more uncomfortable, even as she squared her shoulders more to address the situation Simone presented her with.

"Nothing happened."

"No, but something happened four months ago, after Alex lost the baby and she and Derek broke up." Star winced, but Simone continued on, voice gone soft. "Y'all got...weird, secretive and shit. Then you grabbed Alex's ass after that one chick made a pass at her. You didn't think I'd seen you."

Star honestly hadn't thought Simone or anyone really had seen them. Except the ugly redhead chick whose cherry red hair clashed like crazy with her damn near orange skin. She had looked like she needed to stay far away from the tanning salon she'd clearly been taking up residence at. Alex had said she wanted a night of fun after everything with the baby and Derek, they'd agreed to sleeping together the week before, and Cotton had gotten all three of them into the club with Carlotta distracted by Miss Bruce for the night.

The redhead saw Alex. She apparently _liked_ what she saw because she kept lurking...not that Star blamed her. Alex had worn a cream-colored cropped wrap top that clung to her soft curves and dipped into her cleavage, breasts smaller than Star's but full enough, perky beneath the top and the lace-trimmed bra Star had peeled her out of in the kitchen that same night.

Star had been bitchy and snippy enough to let the orange Fanta-looking bitch know she was unwelcome, but Alex had placed herself between them, politely turning her down. That hadn't stopped Star from groping the petite singer's greatest asset in plain view of the bitch who was never getting anywhere near her girl two songs later, baby blues glinting beneath the low lights, wicked and possessive.

Star had thought Simone was still in the bathroom.

"We weren't tryna tell you." Was the only thing Star could think to tell her sister because it was the truth.

Granted, Alex had been the one questioning if they should, but Star knew more people knowing, even if it was just her sister, would complicate things. Star didn't do complicated at the moment, not unless it was about their music. Besides, there hadn't been nothing to tell. She was fucking Alex, not much else to say on the matter. There didn't need to be a FWB announcement.

"Obviously," Simone shot back after a snort. "Though, for the record, Alex ain't quiet. Y'all just lucky Miss C snores and Cotton sleeps like the dead."

This time, it was Star cracking up laughing and Simone joined after a beat. By the time their shared laughter died down, the girls were outside, arms linked and willowy bodies still trembling with lingering giggles. Star steered them towards the parking lot only to pause when she glimpsed Alex leaning back against her car.

Alex's pale blue top, which she hadn't buttoned up and had tied to reveal her flat belly stood out in direct contrast to the ebony of her black bra underneath that peeked out from the dip in the front of the top and where it fell away from one of her sloping shoulders, contrasting also against the decadence of her chocolate skin. Though Alex's curves were soft and to some barely visible given her naturally slender build, there was a subtle, naturally cinching of her waist where Star has fitted her hands in the past, hips flaring out downwards in a teasing curve that alluded to the roundness protruding from her backside.

The blazing Atlanta sun made Star's obviously parched throat feel dry while simultaneously making Alex's shirt brighter and her skin more dewy, caught on the hints of brown in Alex's dark wig as the girl remained oblivious to both Star's attention and the sudden leap her heart took.

"Be careful, Star." Simone's voice felt like being doused with cold water and Star froze, swallowing hard at the soft, solemn look in her baby sister's eyes. "I actually like Alex."

"Simone..."

"And I know for a fact that you do too," Simone added gently, slickly. "A lot more than I think you think you do." She didn't bother letting Star say anything to refute it.

Star didn't think Simone would believe her even if she did.

* * *

**A/N. **I keep forgetting to leave the disclaimer thing at the top. Honestly, if it's not already pre-typed out by the time I'm ready to cut and paste and pretend like I edit anything lol, I can't help but forget. Either way, how long y'all think it's gonna take Star to stop believing her own "it's only sex" bs? Lmao they're both idiots tbh. Don't forget to leave reviews!


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

_Star wouldn't say she was thirsty. _

_It wasn't an adjective she'd assign herself. When she wanted someone, she got them. There was no thirst about it; it either was a guaranteed lay for her or not, not that she'd be worried by not getting her dick wet just because something didn't pop off with one person. There was always more fish in the sea. _

_Star definitely wouldn't say she was thirsty, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't want to take a bite out of Alexandra Crane. _

_She'd always known that the raven-haired beauty was fine. If she was being honest, she hadn't followed Alex on Instagram simply because she'd found the girl's soundcloud by accident. As much as Star wanted to be a singer, that had honestly been secondary. What had really happened was that a picture of Alex's smiling face had caught her attention under a beauty thread Instagram had recommended. One look into the slightly slanted, almond-shaped depths of darkness and Star had to follow her. _

_Instagram hadn't done the girl any justice. The prim and proper, almost preppy aesthetic of her page read as goody two shoes but the occasional post of sensual quotes and snippets of panty-dropping R&B tracks had Star's attention. Alex herself didn't make it too difficult with her high cheekbones, sexy plush mouth, soft skin, and naturally long dark hair that fell down her back in a curtain of silk Star had honestly mistaken for weave because of how perfect each strand looked. Beautiful, had been the very first thought on Star's mind, directly followed by her wanting to absolutely ruin the seeming good girl once she found an old uniform pic of Alexandra in a pleated black skirt and a blazer from some Catholic private school in Manhattan. _

_Yet and still, nothing about her feed or personality read as non-straight, which sucked. It meant she'd have to find somewhere else to get her rocks off, but at least she still walked away with a bomb ass producer and group member. Having the girl not even question her about her sister, even though Simone hadn't been super open since meeting Alex, only reinforced her belief that friendship was probably the better move to make anyway. She'd rather have Alex musically than risk unnecessary drama getting in the way of making it big. _

_That didn't stop Star's dick from mourning the loss of a potentially decent lay. Or from twitching in interest when Alex eventually slid her edgy white top over her head, tossing it on her bed, unaware of how unbelievably fuckable she looked in white skinny jeans and a strapless black bra. _

_"Damn girl, where all that ass come from?" Star exclaimed, grateful she was on her bed, laying on her stomach with her arms propping her up. Simone was in the shower and the second her sister found out that the couch was a pull-out bed, she claimed it. Star hated sharing beds anyway. Besides, she wasn't sure how Alex would react if the sight of her scantily clad got Star hard._

_"Shut up," Alex replied on a laugh, tossing a pillow Star wasn't going to give back at the blonde's face. Star only grinned at her, half serious in her response. _

_"Take the compliment, princess. I was just stating facts. Almost had me ready to shoot my shot." Alex shot her a dubious look._

_"Yeah, like you're actually gay," she joked, clearly not taking her own statement seriously. Star raked her eyes over the brunette slowly before putting on a thinking face, even though she knew exactly what was going to come out of her mouth before it did._

_"More like bi...or pan," Star declared and then shrugged, twirling a stray blonde curl between her fingers idly. "Ask her," she nodded to the closed bathroom door, "and she'd tell you I'm a slut. I just like sex." _

_The room seemed to freeze right along with Alex, the only sound permeating the air being the sound of water streaming down from a showerhead in the other room, its steady pressure against the tiles Alex had sniffed her nose all delicately at dully beating down against the ceramic in time to Star's heart as she gazed at the brunette. Alex's face was unreadable - no, considering and that really shouldn't spark Star's interest after she'd already decided that Alexandra was off limits, but it did. _

_"That a problem, Alexandra?" She asked, not even bothering to keep the purr from her voice or the slow grin from her mouth when Alexandra seemed to shiver back to life, looking away. It was almost a shame, even though it was because of the chocolate of Alex's skin that Star wanted to lick her, that Alex's skin was dark enough to hide what Star knew was a blush. Still got it, she thought smugly. _

_"Not at all," Alex replied after a minute. "I don't care who you get involved with. It's not my business." Star hummed thoughtfully. _

_"And what about you?" Alex blinked once, twice. _

_"Me, what?"_

_Star slid off of the bed and onto her feet, eyes never leaving Alex's as she stood to her full height. Neither Star nor Simone could be considered really tall, if Star was being honest. More like average, or slightly above the aforementioned. But the length of their legs - and Star only has Mary to thank for it, even though she hates talking about her, since Brody had always been of a medium height - made Alex seem smaller than them. It was much more apparent when the two of them were finally face to face in the space between the two motel beds. She watched Alex's lips part and heard her breath hitch. Star brought her tongue slowly across her lower lip, wetting it, and nearly preened when Alex's pupils dilated, eyes following the movement of Star's tongue. Her voice seemed to startle the other girl when she eventually spoke. _

_"Who do you get involved with, Alexandra?" Star inquired, tilting her head in faux curiosity even as she was beginning to suspect that maybe she had been wrong about Alex after all, the ends of her silk scarf grazing her pale shoulder. "Boys? Girls?"_

_"Both," Alex answered with certainty, and Star's gaze dropped to Alex's hips were her jeans sat snugly, drawn by the sound of Alex's button snapping loose, the girl's dainty fingers releasing the button almost automatically. Star's eyes flew back up to Alex's and a shock seemed to ensconced the room, leaving it charged with something Star knew she'd be able to better name the second she kissed Alex. _

_But she didn't. _

_"I got a dick." The words came out without preamble, but Star refused to take them back. She hadn't changed just yet; she wanted a shower right after Simone and the one pair of pajamas that she did have wasn't going to be wasted just because she wanted out of her own jeans. Still though, she had not been thinking about bringing it up just yet but then it was out, and there wasn't anything Star could do but wait for Alex's response. _

_It was strange growing up without either of her parents, hating her egg donor for not being capable of putting her love for them above her love for drugs, not understanding what the hell had been wrong with her to make Brody incapable of taking her and Simone in after Mary died. It was hurtful and disconcerting and Star probably had a lot of issues because of it. The situation had been made stranger by the fact that she still called herself a girl, but had a dick when other girls had a pussy. _

_Even if she could count on her hands the amount of foster families she had had, Star would probably never be able to count the number of families that rejected her once case workers explained her "delicate" situation. Never mind the amount of times foster fathers put hands over her mouth, despite knowing she didn't have what they were typically looking for or maybe she had and she just so happened to be a pretty enough package to not make them feel bad about secretly being gay - Star didn't know. All she knew was that telling people she was intersex usually went three ways. _

_One, the person was interphobia and they made it pretty fucking clear, lending to Star throwing hands and probably getting arrested for assault. It wasn't the best scenario, but it is what it is and Star made damn sure to make herself stronger, to make sure she'd never find herself on her back, getting beaten silly because of some interphobic assholes who felt disgusted that she both rejected them and had a bigger dick than them. _

_Two, they were down for the cause and Star had another notch to add to her metaphorical bedpost. She preferred fucking girls; she'd managed to find a nice ass or two if the guys' hypermasculine bullshit took a few steps back in favor of getting their asses ridden. But in truth, she liked sex with girls better and that was mostly because the few times she'd allowed herself to be on her back or on her knees for guys, they either assumed her ass naturally lubricated itself in place of her having a pussy - hilarious considering dudes hate being called the dumber sex, but ok - or it was the only way they wanted her and Star felt...a lot of trust went in to Star doing anal. _

_Hunter had been an exception Star hated thinking about. Sometimes, she wished he'd been disgusted by her body. It would have saved her one hell of a beating. _

_And three, which was always the worse one if you asked Star, they were equally disgusted and turned on. Star was everything they clearly weren't used to and didn't know how to feel about, so their bodies warred with arousal for the unknown and abhorrence of something that wasn't the normal. And Star didn't see disgust in Alex's eyes, not at all, but the dumbstruck expression followed by a spark of interest - interest that was already there, but Star could've sworn it wasn't that bright before - rubbed her the wrong way. _

_"Like a dildo?" Alex's question took Star by surprise and she barked out a laugh she couldn't have kept back even if she wanted to. _

_"And here I thought a princess like you wouldn't know a thing about sex toys." Alex snorted gracelessly._

_"That's 'cause you haven't seen my nightstand," she shot back and Star couldn't help the twitch her dick gave, the slight chub in her pants wanting to make itself known, it seemed. Alex gave her a playfully resigned look. "You're never gonna let it go, are you?"_

_"Bitch, you came out of a penthouse suite with a valet pullin' on your bag for you." Star reminded her, shaking her head in amusement at the memory. She'd figured from Alex's social media feed that she was rich, even though she had never seen a parent in sight. But the actual depth of her wealth had only been made clear when the girl emerged from the building, all lithe legs strutting out on high heels and sunglasses that cost more than Star's entire wardrobe. Star cleared her throat then, lowering her gaze for a split second before meeting Alex's gaze head on as she informed her, "I'm intersex." _

_It took Alex a minute or two to say anything._

_"Like I said, not my business," Alex said. "You like who you like and you are you are. You can't change that." _

_She had been trying to prove free-thinking, unaffected by the circumstances of someone else's life and for that, Star felt a surge of gratefulness. Star occasionally did have good taste in people and Alex had proven herself an example of that. At the same time, and logically Star knew there was no offense to be had because Alex genuinely looked like she meant what she said, her word choice gave Star pause, made her see it as exactly that - a circumstance. Not a fact that Star lived with, but a "situation" Alex could contend with because she'd been initially attracted to - and there was no denying that Alex had wanted her for a brief moment - Star before the admittance. _

_Star had been somebody's experiment before, this thing they delved into when a part of them hadn't been as interested when they realized she wasn't their brand of "normal." And Alex, if things worked out, was going to be around for long enough that Star didn't need to be her experiment, didn't need that complication later down the line. Star didn't do complicated._

_Which was why she didn't hesitate to pull away the second Simone emerged from the bathroom. _

Simone's words must have gotten to her earlier or maybe Star really hadn't gotten over her annoyance with Alex from seeing the songwriter with Derek, Star didn't know. What she did know was that the second Simone had called her ruthless, slamming the bathroom door shut behind her, Star whirled on Alex.

"What the hell was that?" Star demanded. Alex shot her a peculiar look from beside her, scrunching up her face in confusion.

"You mean, the part where you decided to say you wanted to drop Carlotta like a fly on the wall?" Star seethed.

"No, the part where you didn't have my back," she snapped and Alex huffed, shoving herself up and off of the bed. She walked to the dresser and then turned around to face Star who was still glaring at her with fierce baby blues. "This ain't easy for me."

"Are you sure?" Alex shot back. "'Cause this isn't easy for any of us, but you don't see Simone or me ready to throw Miss C under the bus."

"Nobody's throwin' her under a bus. I'm just tryna make shit happen for us. We have to hustle and we gotta do whatever it takes to make it 'cause this label don't got us. _We've_ gotta have us and ya know what? She's not doin' shit for us, but y'all seem real content to bitch and moan 'bout shit not going our way but y'all don't wanna get on this wave." Alex gave her a look of pure disbelief.

"So, opening her home to a trio of homeless, wanna-be superstars doesn't amount to anything now?" She asked and Star narrowed her eyes at the brunette. She held up two fingers before her sarcastic reply left her mouth.

"Two-oh since somebody skipped along to her not-boyfriend's house." Star didn't know why the words came out, but they did and there was no taking them back, not when Alex narrowed her dark brown eyes into dangerous slits that made Star refuse to back down.

"Don't," Alex began, voice low, a slight tremor marring the calming she was trying to give herself. _Fuck that_, Star thought petulantly, bitterly, the hot furl of jealousy from earlier suddenly burning white hot beneath her skin. "Don't bring Derek into this." Star recoiled.

"He already in this! _You_ brought him in it!" Star exclaimed.

Alex did not say anything for a few heartbeats, but the stone-cold expression on her face spoke volumes, making Star inwardly shrink. She didn't know why she was testing her friend like this, especially considering Alex was one of the few actual friends she could give that title. Especially considering who they are to each other behind closed doors. But her anger also felt vindicated, as far as she was concerned, even if she didn't want to acknowledge why.

"I'm gonna go," Alex told her. "I promised Miss Ruby I'd get her some McDonalds since she wasn't in the mood to cook. I'll see you tomorrow." Alex gave Star a scathing look before turning to head to the door, and Star felt suddenly enraged, incensed at not having the last word. At Alex being able to be the one to be mad when _Star_ was the one being called ruthless when she was just trying to be practical for all of their sakes.

"Just in time for Derek's dick to magically work again, I bet," Star said and that time...that time, she _knew_ she had gone too far. She lowered her head in shame, shutting her eyes at her own insensitivity. She didn't know what Alex's initial look was, but when she finally did open her eyes again, the girl's dark eyes looked too glassy, too angry. "Alex, I didn't mean that - "

"Go to hell, Star."

* * *

**A/N. **Damn, Star! Why you gotta cockblock your damn self? I was tryna get y'all some smut earlier in the game, but then this argument (i.e. Star showing her whole ass) went down and there's like a tease of something next chapter. It's coming...or at least, they gonna be coming lol. Smh I have issues….tell me what y'all think 3


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

Alex hated being anything like the rich bitches she'd learned to deal with growing up, but if there was one thing she had in common with them aside from a modicum of their privilege, it was this: retail therapy.

Roland Crane had not had billions upon billions to spend, making money seem like meaningless scraps of paper and flimsy cards made of plastic, but his millions - combined with Rose's - made it much easier to gallivant through the streets of New York with a driver at her beck-and-call, and countless bags on her arms with the heavier bulk stowed away in the trunk of the town car for convenience. Alex had thrown away all access to Roland's income and a huge part of her felt liberated by it. When confronted with her anger at Star and her inability to actually go home and back to Derek where she was needed, she almost missed it.

And did not regret taking the credit card her mother had slipped into bag after their trip to the clinic all those months ago.

"I'm just going to go wrap all of this up for you to go," the attendant declared and Alex painted on a pleased smile, taking a final sip of the bubbly she'd been poured. Pettily, she acknowledged having had better champagne, but she hadn't partook in it for the brand. She drank _because she could_, because she felt like she fucking deserved it.

"No problem, thank you so much." She said and the tall blonde smiled genially. Distantly, Alex hated the woman's blue eyes with a passion for reminding her of another blue-eyed blonde she didn't want to think about. At the same time, a smaller part of her wondered at the twinge of disappointment in her gut, at not being able to still hang out with her group member. However, then she was reminded why she had stormed out on Star and wished she could get another bottle of bubbly to go.

"Same tab, Miss Crane?"

"As always," Alex replied, having to rid herself of the clipped note her tone had taken up. She sent the woman an a thousand watt smile, "I'll be sure to tell my mother of the excellent service I was provided today." The woman beamed and then proceeded to clean the area up, pausing only at the counter to set down the flute Alex had returned to her and then peering at the box where the diamond set had been. Alex immediately turned her gaze to her phone, flipping through her Instagram feed.

It wasn't until the attendant left Alex alone that she paused, peeking out at the exit the woman had taken before unlocking her purse to glimpse the pretty bracelet. It cost a lot more than Alexandra typically bought when using either of her parents' money. Unless either gifted something of this magnitude to her, Alex didn't go around asking for randomly expensive items. Her wardrobe had always consisted of a few Balenciagas and Azzedine Alaïa, some Salvatore Ferragamo and Moschino, but she'd also mostly frequented H&M, Forever 21, and Rainbow even if Star swore up and down she wouldn't know what those stores were.

Alex huffed at the thought and at the mental image of the blonde, gently letting the row of diamonds slide over her hand, marveling at the way the light bounced off of them and the white-gold they were encased in. Alex was not a thief...or at least, she hadn't been much before. But one look at the piece of jewelry and she had wanted it with a vengeance, this sudden surge of selfish desire she couldn't explain or like about herself. She just needed it. She couldn't deal with how Derek was at night, even though she was trying to help. She couldn't deal with Ayanna having taken down their music video or Star thinking that Carlotta was the problem - or just plain deal with _Star_ at the moment at all, but she _needed_ this.

_It's just one bracelet_, she told herself. _It's not like they'd care. It's not even the most expensive thing in the store_. The reassurances did very little to assuage the guilt forming in her chest and tugged at the corners of her lips until she frowned, but Alex slipped it back into her bag and bounced up out of her seat, glancing one more time at the room. Then she fixed the strap of her bag on her shoulder and headed towards the door. Her phone pinged almost immediately and she glanced down only to see it was a message from Star. Alex left her on read.

It wasn't until her bags were carefully loaded into Miss Ruby's car - and how she was going to pass this off as anything other than broke rich girl gone crazy, she didn't want to know - that Alex sighed heavily, sinking into the driver's seat as she told herself to put the old Cadillac in drive. Instead, though, she pulled her phone out of the cup holder and unlocked the screen to view Star's texts.

S - D: ima bitch.

S - stop ignoring me

S - come 2 da studio

Alex rolled her eyes and closed out of her messages, and then set her phone back in the cupholder. She turned on the ignition and then flipped the car into drive, pulling out of the parking lot. She had lied when she told Star Miss Ruby wanted McDonalds; the older woman didn't want that unless she was high like a kite, or drunk off her ass or both. Dinner had already been cooked. She'd just honestly wanted to get as far away from Star as possible.

Yet and still, as if of their own volition, her hands maneuvered the wheel and her brain decided its destination without her consent. Before Alex knew it, she wasn't driving in the direction of the Jones' home. Alex remembered feeling pissed with Miss C nearly a year ago, not understanding how the hell Star was able to get away with her bullshit and everyone else was just supposed to take it. She wondered what it said about her that she'd gotten used to it.

* * *

They didn't really get to come to the studio often. They'd been allowed to hang out there, but in terms of actually recording anything, those instances were few, far and in between. After winning Atlanta Next Fest, they had been tasked to record all of their songs and put it together like an EP. It generated and maintained the buzz they'd had going for them after winning the competition, but _Ain't Thinkin' 'Bout You_ and _Bad Bitches_ were considered singles - singles Ayanna Floyd apparently wasn't going to back. There was no album in sight and no real studio time on the schedule.

Nevertheless, Star saw it as them being one step closer to making it big. Alex had seen it as a tease, shining all of this material and the soundboard in her face but not giving her permission to use it regularly. Simone just liked chilling out on the couches while they figured it all out, turning every vocal harmony into a rap Alex really needed to learn how to better incorporate so Simone could have more fun.

_Little Bird_

_Don't be scared to spread your wings_

_And fly_

_Little Bird_

_You'll never fly again_

_If you don't try_

_Just don't be afraid_

_Of what the world_

_Has done to you_

Alex's hand froze on the door handle as the lyrics floated out to her. Studio 5 had a bunch of saved tracks, a few of them being theirs. She had loved the jazzy feel of the instrumental she'd managed to scrounge up, but words had failed her. Star had jotted down a few lyrics, but she'd dismissed them almost immediately, not ever letting Alex see them despite Alex's pleading. To hear them now, to hear Star's raspy, evocative vocals through the closed door with the music Alex had struggled to find lyrics for gave her pause.

Star had followed her on the Gram and Alex hadn't even really paid it any attention until she noticed that a bunch of the posts the blonde typically commented under happened to be the ones with quotes or track snippets. So, feeling curious, Alex took a peek at the girl's page, rolling her eyes at the urban eccentricity of her style, at the devil-may-care attitude she exuded. And then she'd heard Star sing - all unrefined, rough-around-the-edges, but _so so real_ in her rendering of old school R&B, and in a way that wasn't exactly common when Alex had spent a lifetime surrounded by artists who spent years perfecting their craft _instead_ of genuinely feeling it - and Alex had _felt_ something.

It had been a long time since Alex had listened to another artist and felt their music, as opposed to simply having been entertained by it.

So lost in the melodies that blanketed Star from the rest of the world, she didn't notice Alex open the door and enter the room. But Alex noticed her. Alex would be the first to admit that she didn't find Star's insistence that she just "had it like that" was cute, but she'd be lying if she said that her eyes went anywhere else other than Star when the blonde was in this kind of mood. When she was entranced by the music and giving much more of herself to it than she would the rest of the world. Alex felt a pang deep in her chest, causing her to close the door a little too hard. It didn't startle Star; she was too far away and in the recording booth. But it startled the other occupant.

And then Alex noticed Noah.

"Oh, hey," Noah greeted her, half-distracted, gaze wandering back to Star who continued singing almost to herself. "She, uh, she kinda threw us out and then let me record her for awhile." Alex fought the urge to roll her eyes even as a small smirk tugged at the corner of her lips.

"Sounds about right." She replied. Noah wasn't looking at her then; he was watching Star, lips slightly parted with jet-black scruff surrounding his entire mouth from what Alex would've called purposefully-rough-kept facial hair if...if there wasn't a twinge of discomfort inching up from her chest to her throat, making her narrow her eyes.

Alex knew that look, had seen it plenty of times to be both amused by it and irritated, though she couldn't explain the irritation easily. It annoyed her, much like it annoyed Simone, because they could never go anywhere without some random dude damn near breaking his neck to get a second look at Star. The girl had something about her, that much Alex could admit but only to herself because to admit it to Star was to add to her ego. Star didn't need Alex's help being any cockier than she already was. And Alex understood; she'd found herself staring longer than she probably should too. But seeing someone else do it rubbed her the wrong way and the indignation rising up inside of her, marked by irrationality, by jealousy, had her ready to get rid of him.

"Well, you can go," she told him, traipsing over to the spinning chair beside him and plopping herself into it, "I got her from here on out, thanks." Noah blinked, turning to her with surprise.

"Oh...um, nah it wasn't no problem. I was just gonna - "

"And I said I have her," Alex said evenly, chastised herself, and then softened her expression, peering up at him with a small smile that probably did not reach her eyes. "Thank you, Noah." She said that last part sweetly and Noah gave her a squinty eyed look Alex wasn't even going to attempt to decipher. So, she turned her attention to the switchboard, deciding that she didn't want to do anything to manipulate Star's voice, but that Noah clearly had the back tracking a little too loud when it was Star's voice that needed the utmost attention.

_But I'll be right here_

_Right here with you_

_All along, all along_

_Little Bird_

_Everything will be just fine_

_Little Bird_

_I believe you can touch the sky_

Alex didn't hear the door to the room close until the second to the last stanza was over and the tension wracking her diminutive frame did not let up until she did. She didn't bother glancing back to check if Noah was gone; she just lowered the music, waiting to talk with Star herself and see if she wanted to just cut the song after the last line or let the music fade.

"You suck at apologies," Alex declared, peeking up to see Star staring directly at her on the other side of the glass, just beginning to set hear headset on the mic stand. Star smirked.

"I could suck your clit." Was what Star decided to offer and Alex nearly choked on her laugh, propping her elbows up on the space just before the switchboard, biting her lower lip to not give Star any more of the reaction she had wanted. Her grin growing wider only served to highlight her triumph. "Would that make you feel better?"

"You're gross," Alex told her and watched Star vacate the recording booth, leading her to switch off the lights there. Smirking lightly, she glanced at Star as she made her way over before adding, "And probably." Star laughed and then sat beside her, crossing her legs comfortably.

"Listen, I didn't mean what I said about Derek, Alex." Star said after a few moments of silence. Alex averted her gaze, still messing with nozzles and buttons on the switchboard but without any real purpose. "I was pissed - " _And jealous_, Star's mind decided to add, but she kept that part to herself. "And frustrated, and you know how I can get when I'm both." Alex shook her head, hating that the smirk on her face was softened by fondness as opposed to the annoyed resignation she had been trying for.

"Yeah."

"It wasn't fair...and I'm sorry." Alex stared at her then and she realized that Star had leaned forward, legs parted and hands clasped in front of her. There was genuine remorse on her face, lower lip slightly more extended than the top. _You lucky you cute_, Alex wanted to say.

"Please don't bring Derek into this again, Star." Alex hesitated, leaning back in the chair and taking a deep sigh before she continued. "When we broke up, I meant it when I told him that I'd always have love for him and I do. But we both realized that we lost something - something that made us, us - after he got out of that hospital. And I wanted to try to get it back, but I couldn't. And I get it - we're still...weird and adjusting, but there is absolutely _nothing_ going on between Derek and I, and I'd really appreciate it if you'd leave him out of it."

Star gnawed on her lower lip as she and Alex continued to stare at one another. The truth of the matter was that Alex didn't owe her an explanation. She didn't need to tell Star that nothing was going on between her and Derek. If there was, then things would stop between the two of them, and that would be the end of it. It didn't mean that Star wasn't pleased to have the brunette reaffirm it anyway, that it didn't make her feel just a touch smug, even though she actually liked Derek and didn't understand why she'd be feeling territorial over his ex-girlfriend.

"Okay," Star swore and Alex nodded, seemingly pleased. Star peered at her thoughtfully before dropping to her knees, hands falling to Alex's denim-covered thighs.

"Wh-whoa...what are you doing?" She asked. Star shot her a crooked grin.

"I said I'd make you feel better, didn't I?" Star reminded her. It took Star unbuttoning her jeans and pulling down her zipper for Alex's eyes to widen in realization. Her hands immediately stopped Star's.

"We can't," she insisted and Star chuckled, arching a delicate eyebrow like a challenge. Alex frowned at her. "We can't do this in here. Anyone can see us." Star didn't look like she could give a damn and she definitely didn't actually give a damn, so she fixed Alex with a wicked grin.

"You keep playin' these games, Crane," she said, sliding her hands up until she got to the top of Alex's jeans, giving the rough material a swift yank that brought Alex to the edge of her seat, face hovering just slightly over Star's as she peered up at the brunette.

"We could get caught." Alex breathed and then bit her lip, eyes darting over to the door and back to Star's baby blues, still hesitant. Star pulled her closer, nose bumping Alex's chin before their lips brushed, something sweet and almost alcoholic on Alex's breath that Star wanted a taste of.

"Then I guess you gonna have to tell me no, Alexandra," she replied against the other girl's mouth, watching as Alex's eyes fluttered shut in anticipation of further contact. Grinning, Star pulled a hair's breadth away and Alex's eyes flung open, and she chased Star's lips even while Star kept herself just out of reach. After her whine, Alex's entire body finally relaxed and Star chuckled. "S'what I thought," she teased and Alex scowled, so Star brought one of her hands up to the back of the brunette's neck and covered her mouth with hers.

Star couldn't have promised to stop teasing her, even if she wanted to.

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**A/N. **See! They can be cute when they wanna lol. Also, Star ain't the only one who can get jealous, Alexandra. I dragged tf outta episode 2, so luckily, we're gonna be moving along. Hopefully, they stay cute for a little longer…we'll see lol. Please don't forget to let me know what you guys thinks 3


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

"I got her."

Carlotta was looking at her like she was crazy, but Star wasn't backing down. Her heart was pounding heavily in her chest and her skin itched with anticipation – of what, she didn't know but she knew she'd find it the second she went after Alex. It didn't take long for what happened to get back to Ayanna and knowing Noah's bitch ass, he probably had a hand in making sure she was kept in the know. Nevertheless, they were summoned back to Midtown Sounds and Alex had stormed away to the bathroom.

And Star was pissed as all hell.

"Look, just take Simone," Star told the older woman and Carlotta still stared at her dubiously. The lights had just been flickered back to life and Star could see the older woman's eyes clearly. "I got her. We'll just Uber it."

And Star would be damn sure to charge the goddamn ride to Alex and Alex alone for making her have to inconvenience herself like this. Just thinking of her best friend had her ready to cut a bitch, but Star kept it together for the sake of Carlotta not thinking she was leaving them to fight. Eventually though, Miss C sighed and started walking away, Simone peering at Star with concern but following the older woman anyway.

With that taken care of, Star turned on her heels and headed in the direction of the bathroom, a few lingering customers in the food court pointing and snickering amongst themselves. None were bold enough to maintain eye contact when Star stared them down and she dared a soul to get in her way. Her nostrils were slightly flared and her mouth twisted up in her anger, and she almost wished one of these bitches got out of line. And when she slammed into the bathroom, Star was grateful that it didn't sound like anyone else was there.

Just Alex.

"You done?" Star demanded, locking the bathroom door behind her. She didn't know who the hell designed the Underground's girls' bathroom to have a lock on the inside, but whoever did it was a genius because Star needed it to be locked for this.

To her credit, Alex didn't turn to Star with an attitude. She was actually…in all honesty, she looked like she needed a hug…which wasn't fair. Star came in this ready to fight and the second she saw the guilt-ridden look in Alex's eyes, something inside of her deflated which served to also rile her up all over again. She didn't want to feel bad for Alex; Alex just screwed them over. Alex lost her damn head when Star was so sure that she was the only one in the group trusted to keep it.

To be fair, Star had watched Alex get to this point and hadn't even recognized it. Star thought she deserved a fucking award, now that she thought about it. Aside from a face that she had made when Alex almost missed their label meeting because Derek needed her help - and it obviously wasn't _that_ bad since all Alex did was give her a quick look, so again, Star deserves an award - Star thought she'd been handling the performance at Underground Atlanta pretty good. It wasn't ideal, no, and Ayanna clearly was a bitch, but they just had to hustle it out. She'd blown up on Alex just a little bit, but the songwriter met her where she was and gave as good as she got.

And what's better than blowing off Jahil than blowing off Jahil _with_ your girls?

But Alex hadn't been alright before they even got to Undergound, she hadn't been alright once they had mics in hand, and she damn sure hadn't been okay when she literally shoved a microphone stand into their sound system. Star thought Alex needed to remember she wasn't riding on her Daddy's coattails; she was going to have to deal with label head bullshit. There was no "let the contract expire" for them. They didn't have the backing, neither from social media or from any big heads that would be willing to take on a new girl group when the likes of Fifth Harmony still existed. Star was a big dreamer, but she was realistic. And clearly, baby girl didn't understand that.

Or at least, she didn't understand that breaking fucking speakers was not an option right now.

"Well? Cuz lemme tell you, Alexandra, Ayanna is _pissed_," Star spat out. In truth, Star didn't give a single fuck about what Ayanna felt. She was more concerned with Alex, but her outrage at the show Alex had put on – never mind the fact that they were supposed to have been putting on an _actual_ show – made it difficult to focus on the very real fact that Alex clearly needed _something_. Alex winced.

"I know."

"Everything we done worked for and it's probably down the goddamn drain cuz you wanna Jazmine Sullivan the sound equipment. What the actual fuck, Alex?" There was a flash in Alex's eyes and Star, only slightly guiltily, thought, _Finally_.

"I. Know." She grit out.

"Do you? I mean, really? Cuz I'm hearin' a lot of _I-knows_ and not a lot of explanations, Alex, and I'ma need something if we facin' Ayanna together, so what's – " Alex had clearly had enough and Star was ready for it, felt the hunger in her stomach for it.

Though, if she was being honest, that hunger seemed to be somewhere below her stomach, hotter.

"I said I know, so back off, Star!" Alex snapped, taking a few steps forward with a threatening finger pointed in Star's direction. "I messed up and I lost it. I'll talk to Ayanna." Star recoiled in disbelief.

"And say what, 'sorry I went psycho on your shit? Can you please give us another chance?'" Star asked incredulously, furious at her own sudden breathlessness and she watched Alex's eyes narrow dangerously. "Yeah, somehow I don't think the bitch got anymore chances for us."

"She set us up."

"Newsflash – she set _all of us_ up, Alexandra!" Star shouted. "Every last artist playing musical chairs all over Atlanta right now got set up and we know that. That don't mean we didn't have a job and that job was to perform in front of an audience." Alex bristled and if she glared any harder, Star was sure she was going to give herself a headache.

"And what audience were we reaching out there, huh? The one that streamed _Suga_ before they let Hannah Montana remix it? Or the one that sat out there laughing at us?" Alex shot back and threw her hand towards the door. "'Cause I'm not sure if you noticed, Star, but we were a fucking joke out there!"

"Oh, and you droppin' a mic stand on the speakers made it any better?" Star retorted.

She didn't know when Alex had crossed the bathroom to stand in front of her, but now they were toe to toe and how hard they both were breathing really became clear to Star. Distantly, Star noticed that there was the slightest brush of dark plum lipstick at the corner of Alex's mouth, this faint imperfection that she was surprised Alex hadn't caught earlier when they all checked their makeup just before performing. It was a strange thing to catch in the middle of an argument, but Star's eyes kept catching on it. Just like the sight of it made something catch and tug in her lower belly, made her want to lick it. "All you had to do was suck it up and perform the song, Alexandra."

"That…_mess_ wasn't our song!" Star felt her entire body light up at Alex's indignation.

"Why, cuz it sounded like some Disney pop shit?" She shot back. "It was one fucking song, Alex. Stop being such a control freak." Alex exploded.

"I AM A CONTROL FREAK!" Alex shouted and her voice carried throughout the empty bathroom, rendering Star silent while she watched her girl lose it. "Just like we all know you're a petty ass diva, Simone – no matter how much we love her – is a goddamn mess, and I'm a control freak and I get it, okay? I messed up and I hate it.

"I hate all of this. You have no idea what's going on in my head right now, Star. And it's messed up that I let it all out on stage in a food court of all places, but you know what? That wasn't my song. I didn't make that music and I couldn't do shit about it. Derek's health provider is not trying to help right now, his money's not coming in, we can't catch a fucking break without Ayanna breathing down our necks and I HATE IT."

Alex was panting by the end of it and Star wished she could feel guilty for the way her dick twitched when Alex took another step towards her, even though she knew Alex wasn't trying to fight her. Quite the opposite, to be honest. But Alex didn't notice Star's distracted gaze because she kept going, tugging at her jacket in frustration. "I actually hate these fucking outfits," she snapped, finally succeeding in getting the shiny thing off and throwing it to the ground with all her might.

Star really tried to convince herself that she was still focused on Alex's ranting, but that was pretty hard to do when Alex's titties jiggled at the top of her gold sequin tube top due to her efforts. Star felt suddenly too warm and her dick jumped when she finally managed to drag her gaze back up to meet Alex's fierce one.

"I'm a control freak and I don't have control over jack shit," Alex concluded, all of the fight suddenly drained out of her person with the way that last breath left her. Several beats passed and Star just stared at her friend. Then, she nodded – almost to herself.

"Okay."

Star couldn't make Ayanna stop being a bitch. That apparently was in her genetic code or something, and they were probably going to hear it even more from her for taking too long. She couldn't fix Derek's legs or alleviate whatever stress Alex had in that house, even if she was of the mind that Alex shouldn't have felt obligated to move and help in the first place. She couldn't help a girl who was used to having thousands of dollars at her exposal when she herself got by, by scraps, and she couldn't make them a sensation over night. She tried; it didn't work and she got her ass beat.

But this, even on a small scale? Maybe Star could do.

"Wait – okay?" Alex asked, perturbed. But Star didn't pay her confusion any mind. She shoved her own jacket to the floor, knowing damn well Cotton would murder them in cold blood if she ever found out they let clothes she bought touch the dingy floor of a girls' bathroom in Underground Atlanta. But she put that out of mind as well as she placed her hands on her hips and met Alex's stare head on, walking forward. Star didn't stop until Alex was backed into the opposite wall, following the line of sinks with soap dispensers until Alex's back pressed into the glass mirror of the wall that cut off into a corner that went deeper into the bathroom, where there was probably a supply closet and the rest of the stalls. She watched Alex swallow hard.

"Yeah, ok." She said. "Let's do this then." Alex's eyebrows shot up.

"Let's…um, what?" Star didn't answer her; just placed her hands on either side of Alex against the cool glass. She watched as Alex's eyes widened before dipping past her eyes, past her chin, lingered, and then shot up to Star's face. There was only the slightest hint of a chub in Star's pants, but she knew that would change given the flash of heat that shot through Alex's eyes. "Wait…here?" Star couldn't help but chuckle at the squeak in Alex's voice.

"Yeah, here," she murmured, bringing her face a little closer to Alex's and watching as the brunette shivered, tongue swiping at her lower full lip before her teeth sunk into it.

Star smirked at the indecisiveness in Alex's gaze, but she knew the truth. If Alex really wanted her to back off, she would've said it by now. She would've brushed Star off, but she was biting her lip and Star bet it wouldn't take much longer to coax something more out of her. So, she did what she did that night at the studio, coming close enough for their lips to brush but never fully connect, feeling Alex's lashes kiss at her cheeks. Just as Alex pressed forward, Star pulled back just out of reach, nose brushing up against the other girl's as she did so, another chuckle on her lips when Alex made a small noise of disapproval.

"Come on, Crane," she teased as Alex panted then, eyes darkened as she stared up at the blonde. "You want control? Take it."

Star expected more work. She expected Alex to complain about them doing it in a dingy bathroom where anyone could walk in on them, like bathroom personnel or some lame shit like that. She expected a reminder that they had to meet Ayanna, the other girl's guilt shining through in an attempt to not piss the older woman off even more than her actions already had.

What Star _hadn't_ expected was for Alex's hands, soft and warm, to settle on her waist as she pulled Star back to herself, pressing her lissome body as close as she possibly could, fingers digging into Star's skin as her lips molded themselves to Star's. What Star wasn't going to do was complain, though. She just laughed into Alex's mouth, cutting the girl's growl off with a lick inside.

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**A/N. **There will definitely be smutty things happening in the next chapter, so sorry to tease lol. Don't forget to like and comment!


	7. Chapter 7

Hi, guys! I know there aren't that many of you reading it on here since this story is technically from Wattpad, but here's the next update. I have anxiety about all of my writing, so I tend to stop halfway through writing anything.

Either way, here's this chapter! Sorry it took so long. Don't forget to leave reviews, hope you enjoy :3

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**Chapter 7**

Alex wasn't used to doing this in public.

Nevertheless, she dug her fingers even deeper into the soft skin of Star's sides and opened her mouth just a bit more, letting Star's tongue slide over her own. The girl gave a flick of her tongue, letting the tip skip over the roof of Alex's mouth, and Alex felt a tremor go down her spine even as the action evoked a subtle giggle from her throat. As payback, because she felt Star's triumphant smile against her mouth, Alex sucked on Star's tongue until she tasted the other girl's moan.

"Ass," Star accused when she pulled back. Alex's answering grin was wide.

"Takes one to know one," she shot back and Star didn't say anything to that. She just grasped Alex's head between her hands and smashed her lips to Alex's again, pressing the dark-skinned songwriter back into the wall a little harder than before. Alex didn't even attempt to offer another rebuttal; she lost herself in the deep kisses, in every smack of their lips when they happened to part for even the briefest of moments, in the back-and-forth of Star nipping at her lower lip and swiping her tongue over it as if to soothe the ache, in the fingertips that pressed into the base of her skull and press her closer and closer still.

In the silence that finally pervaded her thoughts.

Alex's mind has been running a mile a minute since she woke up this morning and it became even more active the closer they got to their performance. She knew that she should have had more composure; she should have waited until much much later to lose her mind – if she'd even allowed herself the privilege, now that she thinks about it. But she had gotten on stage and she had remembered a time when she had tried performing only to be stuck on stupid looking at the crowd.

Alex remembered Roland Crane's sneers and Rose's patronizing sympathies. She remembered her own gasps and whimpers, the muffled cries she'd buried in her pillow late at night so that Star and Simone wouldn't hear her, the salty droplets as they ran down her cheeks as she told her mother that she could not have her baby over the phone. She remembered her sobs in the operating room; she hadn't been in pain, per se, but it had hurt something deep within her, something past her cervix and uterine, a sort of agony that radiated from her chest cavity and did not abate even when it was all said and done.

And then all their voices were mixing with Ayanna's and Alex had been hearing a lot of what she can't do and what she can't accomplish – what she's not _good_ enough to do – and she had just wanted them all to stop. She wanted them and her head and the world to be silent, and still and just –

Alex was snapped out of her thoughts by a sharp twinge of pain, by Star taking her full lower lip and tugging at it harshly with her teeth. And then the pain was followed by a blossoming heat when Star promptly released the appendage, a pleasure that blessedly yanked the thoughts out of her mind.

"I thought you wanted control, Crane," the blonde goaded, a challenge flashing in her baby blues. Alex tightened her hands on Star's waist.

The world spun and then Star was the one pressed into the wall, and the blonde's answering laugh was cut off by Alex's demanding mouth, by teeth that sharply nipped and a tongue that demanded entry. Star fought because Star doesn't know how not to, but she acquiesced after only a beat and Alex reveled in her victory, moaning when one of Star's hands traveled down her back and gave her ass a squeeze. Just because she could, the blonde cupped as much of the cotton-clad flesh in both her hands and squeezed, and Alex pressed herself as close to Star as she could, trailing her mouth from Star's to the other girl's jaw.

Alex felt warm – too warm. Her face was hot, the thin material of her top too tight and irritable, and her palms felt the first vestiges of sweat accumulating, and Star wasn't _nearly_ as undone as Alex already felt. And she could not have that – she wouldn't. She didn't kiss the skin of Star's throat yet, just breathed softly across the crook of the other girl's neck and felt her shudder. A spark of triumph raced up her spine and Alex nuzzled lightly, teasingly, and felt Star's fingers dig into her short hair, felt a tug that bordered on the right side of too sharp in her sew-in and mewled, burying the sound she'd made in the soft skin where Star's shoulder and neck met.

Star's skin was hotter than she'd thought there, supple even, and the citrusy-sweet scent wafting up to Alex's nostrils coated Alex's tongue, grazed the back of her throat until all she could taste was salt and Star's soap and Star's perfume – taste _Star_ – and she reveled in the moan the other girl released when Alex sunk her teeth into the skin. Alex's hands were still at Star's sides, fingernails pressed on either side of her spine and thumbs digging into the skin just beneath the blonde's rib cage. Purposefully, she dragged her nails down Star's back, sucking onto the bite mark she'd already made and not releasing until Star let out a hiss.

"Tease," Star accused. Alex grinned.

One hand still reflexively holding onto Star's side, Alex allowed the other to roam upward, fingertips slowly ghosting over Star's skin until a tremor ran through the blonde singer. Then the hand was curving over one breast and giving a squeeze. Star's mouth dropped open in a silent moan, head tipping backward against the dingy glass behind her. Alex made a low, gutted sound at that, as if just as affected by what she'd done as Star was, the girl's plush mouth still fastened onto Star's skin, teeth nipping just above her collarbone. It was enough of a reprieve for Star to bolster a bit more power.

"So good," she rasped out, almost surprised at her own gasp-moan when Alex slipped Star's right breast free of the crop top and pinched Star's nipple between the flat sides of two dainty fingers, palm flexing against the undercurve. It was definitely a shock, even though it shouldn't be, but not enough for Star to have been distracted by the way Alex shuddered when she spoke.

Huh.

Before she knew it, Alex's mouth was back on hers, filthy and wet and hot, and Alex was kneading at the breast in her palm, so Star did the same to the girl's ass, feeling her dick harden even more as Alex rolled her lithe body against her own. Star grinded against her in tandem, massaging the globes of the girl's ass through her tight leggings, her own nipples sharp twin points of sensitivity against the softness of Alex's palm and the rough-soft fabric of the crop top Cotton had thrown on all of them. But Star released Alex's mouth with a wet smack, not wanting to let up on her discovery.

"'Cause that's what this is about for real, for real," Star continued as if she hadn't ever stopped and moved to mouth at the space just below Alex's ear, laving the area with her tongue and then blowing at it gently just to see the other girl shiver. "You just wanna be good, don't you, Alexandra?" She asked it after a careful swipe her tongue against the corner of Alex's ear.

And _fuck_ – the sounds. The _sounds_ Alex was making? These hot little breathy noises as Star mouthed at her, at the sensitive flesh of her own neck where Star could just as easily mark her up as Alex had been doing to her? If Star had been hard before, she was definitely at full mast now, straining in her bottoms and wanting them off like, yesterday.

"Baby got service providers and bitch ass Roland Crane in her head, don't she?" Star cooed and Alex's agreeing moan might as well have been a whimper for how far back in her throat the sound came from, for how pitiful it sounded, and Star has…

…Star has never done this before. There have been roleplaying-ish type things in the past, a few power dynamic shifts that literally come with every single partner. You gotta spruce it up from time to time, after all. But this…and with _Alex_ of all people? This is foreign territory, something they haven't delved into it and especially not with each other. She never would have thought.

It didn't mean she wasn't game.

"You don't want power," Star said and kissed back up to Alex's pillowy mouth, taking them sensually as she pressed her dick harder into Alex's stomach, feeling another tremor shoot through the other girl. "You just wanna be good for me." It's a question as much as it is a statement.

Alex's answer was to drop down to her knees instantly, like she wanted it, like all she's been doing was entertaining Star until she got permission – until _Star_ _gave_ her permission. She looked up with wide, greedy, _pleading_ eyes – such a sharp contrast to the Alex that Star _knew_ as well as she knows her own sister that Star felt insanely protective, wanting to keep this sudden display of vulnerability to herself like a lioness defending her cubs…even if that thought pattern is weird considering that Star's gotten so hard that it fucking _ached_.

_Well, shit_, she thought, winded, as Alex hooked her fingers in the bands of her leggings and tugged them down, and it takes Star a lot longer to understand why the air suddenly feels cooler. But then she does and it's because Alex has also pulled down her slightly baggy boy shorts. The dark-skinned girl didn't wait, either. One ounce of acknowledged submission was enough because she went straight for it, swallowing Star down like a goddamn pro and bobbing her head like Star wasn't a pretty fucking decent size.

But Star thought Alex had had a mouth for giving head, round and full and pillowy-soft and those lips were wrapped tight around Star's dick, tongue flitting at Star's thin slit and causing the blonde to stutter out a moan, her fingers losing themselves in the silky strands atop the girl's head. Alex let out a moan that Star felt vibrating down her shaft and she groaned, feeling the brunette slide her lips down and down until Star could feel her tip touching the back of the other girl's throat.

"Shit," she exclaimed when she felt Alex swallow. Star hadn't even realized her eyes had fallen shut until she opened them to peer into Alex's dark, glassy ones, tears gathered along the edges as she fought her own reflexes to take more. Her pupils were blown.

Star was close. All of thirty seconds with Alex's mouth on her dick and for all her big talk – and all the backing up she normally was capable of when it came to her big talk, mind – and Star was fucking close, pleasure building beneath her skin, sparking behind her eyelids, balls tightening incrementally. But she had a reputation and energy to maintain, and she'd be damned.

"That's it, baby," she murmured and Alex moaned again, tilting her head further into Star's palm when Star gentled the fingers in her hair, guiding the songwriter's movements. There's a heat suffusing the room and Star's in a weird, power-filled headspace but she wasn't so out of it that she couldn't remember that this was as much about Alex as it was about herself.

Even if her hips stuttered when Alex's tongue trailed up a vein along the underside of Star's cock, spit-slicked lips stretched wide over Star's girth. "So fucking good," Star added almost as an afterthought, fingers tightening in Alex's hair when the brunette swallowed around her. "Okay, baby, get up. Lemme take care of you."

Alex, the stubborn little bitch that she was, only swallowed again.

"Shit – _Alexandra_," Star exclaimed, barely able to keep from thrusting forward into the heat of Alex's mouth. She pulled at Alex's hair again and felt the girl moan around her dick again. "C'mon, I thought you was tryna be good for me."

Alex let out an honest-to-God whine that Star just knew was going to haunt her during one of those long nights when Alex was at Miss Ruby's house and refusing to meet Star downstairs, but she – reluctantly – let Star's dick slip from her mouth. Star didn't waste any time.

She had Alex back on her feet, hands cupping either side of her face as she kissed her girl hard on the mouth. Star could taste herself on Alex's tongue and groaned, pushing herself forward and Alex backwards until they approached one of the sinks for better leverage. She swiftly turned the shorter girl away from her and Alex must've gotten with the program because she moaned, bending over just a little and spreading her legs, not even fighting it when Star yanked at her panties and leggings down at the same time.

"This what you need, ain't it, baby?" She taunted because she could, because she knew Alex wasn't going to put up a fight. Because it was Star and why not? Star grasped at Alex's waist, ran one hand up and down the other girl's left side as the other cupped one of the girl's breasts through her top, causing Alex to moan and arch her back just right. Star thrust forward at that, the head of her dick pressing flush against the cleft of Alex's ass. Alex moaned and groaned back, breath stuttering past her lips.

"I hate you," she said and Star laughed.

"Why? 'Cause it's the truth." Star pinched the singer's nipple and Alex turned her head in time for Star to swallow her gasp in a searing kiss. She trailed her hand down then, still gripping Alex in place with the other, to ghost of her the smooth, flat expanse of her belly before swiftly cupping Alex's pussy, fingers slipping through her warm wetness and spreading her.

Alex bucked, almost instinctively, and moaned into Star's mouth, pressing back into Star as the blonde began to finger her. Alex had been back on the pill for a while now, even before they had started having sex. They usually were a bit more careful, but Star didn't bring any condoms to Underground. It wasn't like she was expecting much of anything in the first place. But she couldn't even let herself think too much on it, not when the head of her dick was aching and Alex was grinding into her fingers greedily.

"You ain't wanna fuck shit up, did you?" She asked and didn't expect an answer, reaching her fingers past Alex's pussy to help line her dick up to Alex's entrance. "You just wanted to be fucked. Let Daddy take care of you, baby."

Daddy.

Star had never used that term with Alex before, even though she jokingly had in her head once or twice without feeling brave enough to actually say it aloud. But once it was out, it was a goddamn shame that this was the first time with the way Alex choked out a moan, but that could've also been because Star breached her without any other warning.

Alex tore her mouth from Star's and leaned forward, hands clinging to the white porcelain tightly as she moaned and whimpered, felt Star pop her dick out and then slip back inside, each time pressing further, deeper inside of her, getting her used to the feeling of Star inside of her again.

It had been a few days for the both of them, and the fit was tight, tight enough that Alex almost felt gutted it. But Star's hands were fastened on her hips and her cock was inexorable, hot and solid and filling – so filling.

And Alex's mind was absolutely blank.

The tension in Alex's body kept growing, her hips moving as she tried to chase Star's dick each time Star pulled out. Each teasing withdrawal made Star curse when all she wanted to do was thrust forward and keep fucking the songwriter until the girl wailed out an orgasm, until Star could finally come balls deep inside of her. But her reward for the taunting was Alex giving out these little half sobs.

Then Alex whimpered, and Star officially stopped, listening to her gasp, holding her breath, on the edge and absolutely shaking. As Alex finally inhaled, let herself breathe as if attempting to ready herself and find some semblance of control, Star hungrily slammed forward.

Alex shouted and Star wondered how nobody had bothered to come to this bathroom yet.

She didn't bother to slow down.

Star rocked her hips back and forth, fucking into Alex with hard, deep thrusts that brought her inside the girl all the way to the hilt and then back just to do it over again. Alex tried bracing herself against the sink, her moans devolving into one long moan of pleasure as she rocked her own hips backward, throwing it back for Star like the absolute good girl she was and trying really hard to make Star go faster.

But Star kept her own pace. She didn't care about Carlotta or Ayanna, or even Simone. Couldn't even spare them a second thought, not when Alex was wet, hot and fluttering around her dick. Alex squeezed her pussy around Star and the blonde thrust a little harder, jolting the brunette with her strength and wrenching a cry from the girl's throat.

It was much easier in this position to find Alex's g-spot, to swivel Star's hips like they were only at the club and dancing and brush up against the spot that made Alex cry out again. And Star kept fucking with her, thrusting into the spot and thrusting past it, rolling her hips and fucking Alex as slowly and as quickly as she wanted, alternating the pace until Alex's skin felt slick beneath her hands and Star herself was close to the edge again with all her own teasing.

"Pl-please," Alex panted.

"Please what?" Star inquired, looming over the girl until her chest was pressed into Alex's shuddering back, face nuzzled into the crook of her neck. Star found a new place to suck a bruise into, swirling her hips again and feeling Alex shake even harder, pushing her round ass back to take more of Star's dick.

"Starrrrr…"

"Uh uh, Alexandra," Star ordered, gripping her hips tightly and forcing herself to stop, even as Alexandra whined and tried to make Star move again. It wasn't easy, not when Star herself wanted to fuck her until they both came. But Star liked this – this power that Alex gave her; it was heady and intoxicating, and who the fuck knew there was some kind of latent bottom gene in Miss Alexandra Crane? "Use your words."

Star already knew Alex was close, could feel it in her pussy where she fluttered again around Star's dick and in the way her breath hitched into high-pitched whimper-gasp-moans, and her thighs shook. She also really knew that Alex was close when the girl didn't even hesitate to open her mouth and say:

"I wanna come."

"That how you ask?" Star pressed.

"Please…make me come," Alex moaned out, only momentarily hesitating. And when she gave in so good like that, practically melted under Star's weight and around Star's dick like that, how the fuck was Star not supposed to reward that?

"Good girl."

Then Star was pulling back up and working Alex at a faster rhythm, no longer holding herself back, no longer teasing. She yanked Alex back and forth on her dick – not like Alex wasn't helping. She still clung to the sink in front of her, fucking herself on Star's dick in time with every sharp snap of Star's hips, let Star bottom out in her sweet little cunt, taking it hungrily. Star only fucked her harder, pounding into her steadily, giving Alex all she could take until finally, _finally_, Alex wailed, a wild exultant sound.

But Star didn't stop. Not at the way Alex's cunt clamped down hard on her; not at the spasming of Alex's pussy as she erupted around Star's dick, nor at the way the girl tried to curl in on herself as the shocks overtook her. No, Star kept thrusting, frantically and hungrily, fucking forward into Alex's heat until her orgasm is ripped out of her and spilling inside the songwriter, her hands clamped down on the girl's waist as she comes and comes, a shout slipping past her mouth and dragging on until she muffles the sound into the back of Alex's neck.

They stayed that way, crushed to one another and breathing in loud, shuddering gasps, tremors still racing down their spines. But then, because she's Star, the blonde starts out giggle-snorting into the nape of Alex's neck, nose taking in the nutty sweetness of her body cream, before she's full-out laughing. Alex tenses, tired and regretting having sex in the bathroom when all she wanted was to crash into a bed.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked and Star was barely able to stop laughing to explain herself.

"I'm so sorry, Ayanna," the blonde crooner exclaims, hands rubbing up and down Alex's sides without thinking, making the brunette relax again almost instinctively. "Didn't think Alex needed some vitamin D before she broke your shit. My bad, sis." Star didn't need to look at Alex to know the songwriter was full-on scowling at her.

"I fucking hate you." Alex declared, but the only thing Star could do was laugh even harder.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

* * *

Ayanna was going to murder them.

Granted, Alex thought the head of Midtown Sounds was two seconds from catching a murder charge the second she and Star finally strolled up in her office. With the disapproving way Carlotta regarded the both of them, especially after Star had the audacity to walk in the room like the cat that got the cream and made that comment about balls knowing full well Ayanna was already seething, and the way Ayanna's eyes flashed at Alex's back-talk, she hadn't had the time to note the strange look Simone had shot her way when they first entered the room.

But she knew that Ayanna was going to kill them. Or, at least she would if there wasn't something in the contract, probably, that disallowed her to do anything. Hell, to be quite honest, Alex wouldn't have been surprised if Ayanna found some way around the clause if it existed at all, staged some accident, hired someone to do her dirty work. Either Alex had been hanging around the Davis sisters for a little too long, or maybe Jahil had rubbed off on all of them at some point – but Alex was half-convinced Ayanna was capable of it. And probably fighting tooth and nail to keep herself from doing it.

Noah, on the other hand, was _definitely_ going to kill them.

Noah was arrogant and annoyingly smug for a guy that was still on a come-up technically, who still wasn't big enough to sneer down his nose at any newcomer but willing to do so anyway because one too many groupies readily dropped to their knees in the past. He was talented; Alex could not take that away from him. He was obviously attractive, though the amount of scruff he had going on – even though it was very tasteful; Alex couldn't even deny him _that_ – was not exactly on par with Alex's tastes. His music had been impressive when he first came out. But that was the point – _had_.

He _had_ been something great. He _had_ been something intimidating. But no one could ruin Noah Brooks quite like Noah Brooks himself and Alex had read the tabloids and seen the videos, remembered all too well how similar he looked to her mother on her worst nights, eyes beyond red and words unintelligible, and her entire person made unrecognizable in the dark privacy of their penthouse. Alex particularly remembered a vine that had went popular way too quick; this hilarious little edit matched with Spongebob's "one hour later" that depicted Noah before a premiere and afterwards, beyond sloshed and beyond belligerent.

_Now_, he had to deal with competition – _genuine_ competition, whether Ayanna believed in them or not – and Alex wasn't backing down for some wannabe heartthrob.

That didn't mean she didn't hesitate to go the other way the second he came after them after their performance.

Star had been handling him before; she could do it again, and probably better than the rest of them. _Unless_…she had to stop her own brain from finishing that, stopped that dark rush of something that rose up in her chest like that night in the studio nearly two weeks ago and pricked at her skin until she was frowning more than grinning to Simone; had to stop herself from thinking about the dazed expression on Noah's face as he watched Star sing, as he watched _her_ Star, focusing instead on the lower snickering Simone had taken up on her right as they scurried down the steps, not even bothering to stick around for the showdown that was about to take place.

And definitely _not_ focusing on the possessiveness of that last thought.

"He looks soooooo pissed," Simone said, still laughing as they clung to each other and Alex clung to that, clung to the bright flash of mirth in Simone's warm brown eyes as they walked down the corridor, heading towards the parking lot. Miss Bruce was on his way to come get them because Ayanna had damn near dragged Carlotta into a meeting with the new head of A&R, Carlotta only partially reluctant with the way she proudly hugged each of them before following after a still fuming Ayanna. Star more than likely would catch up soon.

"Him? Did you see Ayanna's face when we were done?" Alex exclaimed and Simone had another fit of giggles that were too contagious not to make Alex smirk. "If we wind up in body bags, I already know who did it."

"Dude, don't say that. You know she might actually do that." Alex chuckled. As they walked, a few other workers and artists on the label congratulated and praised them on the performance. Once they were around the corner, away from prying eyes and ears, both girls squealed. Simone was ecstatic. "I still can't believe _we_ did that."

"I can," Alex replied, mussing up her hair a little bit. She'd been fine with somewhat slicking the weave back for the sake of diversity; she'd had long hair for a long while and wasn't used to not being able to do much with what was on her hair. She missed it framing her face. "Ain't we the same group who filmed a whole music video without this woman's permission?" Simone snorted.

"Bruh, how we not dead yet?" Alex hummed.

"You know what? Don't even wanna know, just gonna appreciate being alive, thank you." The dark-skinned girl replied and they shared an amused look as they exited the building.

It was much warmer outside, even though Alex was half-convinced that Atlanta's weather was just plain bipolar because she could've sworn she saw the news say that it was going to be colder later in the week. However, Alex had no problem with shedding the blazer, ready to change into something more comfortable. Miss Bruce wasn't there yet, and even though both girls were wearing dresses, they comfortably plopped themselves on top of a precast concrete parking curb, hunching over slightly as Alex pulled out her phone to check her tweets about the performance. It had aired live and she'd heard the notifications going off from the second they had gotten back to their stuff, but she hadn't taken the time to look until they were outside.

Time seemed to stretch for a moment, this comfortable sort of silence that Alex had learned to appreciate with Simone given how much they hadn't gotten along in the beginning. Now, Alex couldn't help but see Simone as the little sister she never got the chance to have. An albeit very, _very_ hurt and traumatized sister Alex surprised her damn self by being ready to throw hands for, but a sister nonetheless. And _Star_, her mind made her question, but Alex was able to stamp that down when Simone spoke up.

"Okay, I'ma say this and try not to be weird," Simone began and Alex wanted to tell her she was already a little weird – and _God_, what did that say about Alex herself now for actually _liking_ the curly-haired brunette? – but Simone kept on, "but…are y'all gonna flirt every time we perform?"

Alex froze.

"Wait – what?" She asked, forcing out a light laugh as she peered at Simone incredulously. Simone was dead serious though, worrying the sleeve of her blazer and averting her gaze every now and then like she was embarrassed for having to ask. Alex felt something spike her adrenaline.

"Look, I'm not judging – I'm not…" Simone must have seen something go across Alex's face because hurried up to say that last line. "And it's not like it's weird – I mean, it's _kinda_ weird that one of my best friends is getting dicked down by my sister, who also happens to be said best friend's best friend – "

"Simone," Alex hissed, but the younger singer carried on like she didn't even hear her.

"It's true," Simone insisted. "And again, not judging, but I'ma be real – y'all obvious…like, _obvious_, obvious…which I thought was the _opposite_ of what y'all were tryna do…?" She posed it like a question, like it was just common knowledge that Alex and Star were sleeping together. Alex was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that it was common knowledge for Simone, trying to ignore the startled thud her heart gave against her ribcage at the thought of being obvious…

About what, though? If they were all being honest, though it would probably take a second for the people who knew them to wrap their heads around Star and Alex messing around – and probably, for some of the, to wrap their heads around Star's designation – there wasn't anything inherently wrong about two people sleeping together. They were both within the legal age range, both very much consenting at this point. It probably wasn't smart on either of their parts, but not…not really _wrong_…just…just…

Alex wasn't investigating it.

Correction – Alex didn't _want_ to investigate it.

"You knew?" She asked instead. Simone sucked her lips in, this really sheepish look, combined with something like an apology in her eyes, that made her look even younger than her seventeen years. "How long?"

"Ummm, a while." Alex's mouth dropped open and she had to look away, had to gather her thoughts. She didn't know what her face said, but whatever it was made Simone speak up again. "I'm not mad or anything, and I'm not judging." Alex eyed the girl from the corner of her eye as Simone made a face, saying almost to herself though she was loud enough for Alex to clearly hear her, "Just a little surprised you'd throw it back for Star, of all people…"

"Oh. My. God." Why the hell was she friends with these chicks?

"But if you guys are supposed to be keeping this a secret, I don't think you should be flirting with each other on TV," Simone remarked and Alex's eyes went wide as she turned to the other girl, gaping. Simone put her hands up in supplication, though what she said next did very little backing off like her pose would have had someone believe. "It's the truth. Y'all were flirting, I'm surprised no one said shit 'cuz y'all were obvious."

"No, we were not." And Alex was not going to investigate the pitch her voice just took, that miniscule hint of a squeak that sounded very much like she didn't believe herself as much as she wanted Simone to.

"Ummm…so we just gonna act like that whole performance with Noah ain't happen? I saw y'all." Alex swallowed, ignoring the rush of heat to her cheeks as she tried not to think about the exact moment Simone was talking about.

The girls had all been giving each other looks from the second they had taken their place behind Noah, all scowling at him as he threw in their faces – Star's, especially, which Alex was _not_ going to touch with a ten foot pole – that they were backing him up instead of showing him up. They had had something for his ass; they didn't need to make any remarks in the grand scheme of things. They did their 'oohs' and their 'aahs' like Ayanna wanted them to…and then they stole the show.

Alex would've been able to say that she hadn't seen anything wrong with the performance. They already knew the lyrics, jammed out to it on the low even though they'd deny it if Noah ever asked. She'd gotten into it with Simone, brushing past her, an arm on her shoulder at one point that only made the biracial teen beam, grinned at the heated glares Noah threw each girl once he realized they were taking over his show. And then…and then…and then she had dropped low on the hook, and she'd be lying through her goddamn teeth if she said she hadn't known whose long, cool fingers had slid through the hair at the back of her head, graze firm, _gratifying_, at the skin of her nape for just the briefest of moments as Alex sung about being a good girl.

She'd be lying if she said it hadn't taken her back to that bathroom in Underground at Five Points.

And she'd be lying if she said that the little shimmy she had done was for anything other than disguising the thrilling chill that had licked down her spine, especially when she'd risen and caught the flash of heat in Star's eyes.

Moments like these made Alex exceptionally grateful for her complexion.

"Simone…we were just – we were performing, _vibing_," Alex exclaimed, correcting herself at the last minute about the "vibing" bit because she had no words for all of five seconds. And five seconds was a long time when sweet, usually innocent Simone was giving her a very knowing look that made her whole body flush with embarrassment. "We were _all_ vibing…I mean, maybe not Noah. I think he was tryna save face, but…"

"Okay, sure if we talkin' Fifty Shades vibing." Simone stated and Alex choked.

"Simone!"

"I'm sorry, but somebody had to say it," Simone declared. "Y'all were gross and obvious and…I mean, that's saying something for two people who…don't want anyone to know…" Alex's breath left her in a heavy exhale, cheeks puffed up as she slowly pushed the air out of her mouth. "Hey, at least it's just me. Maybe no one else noticed."

"Yeah."

Alex could only hope that was the case. She wasn't ashamed, she didn't think. She had nothing to be ashamed of, if anything. Granted, she wasn't keen on Derek finding out any time soon; it felt like the transition from her being with him to messing with Star was too quick, maybe even offensive. And Alex knew Derek wasn't over her just yet. It wasn't arrogance that colored the thought; it was fact, it was the way his gaze remained on her even after she'd turned away and could only see his profile from the corner of her eye, the way his touch lingered at times when she was helping him, when he wasn't too sensitive about needing help and just welcomed her company.

_But it's not the same though_, her brain reminded her, taunting her, made her think about how the difference was that she had dated Derek; she was only sleeping with Star. It would be one thing if she had jumped into a relationship with someone else so soon after having been with Derek, after having acknowledged that she maybe had once loved him, even. It wasn't though – they were just fucking, as crude as the wording was. Yet and still, something in the entire situation gave her pause, made her think too hard on why she would want it to be a secret. Because it was just sex? Or because it wasn't – ?

_No_, she thought forcefully, shutting it down. Alex was not looking into that. She'd just really appreciate it if heart would slow down already.

"Look, I didn't say nothing to make you uncomfortable or anything," Simone said and Alex cut herself off from pointing out that she did. Simone didn't deserve that; she was helping them. They could chalk it up to Simone spending the most time with both girls, so clearly she'd be the one to see through them before anyone else all they wanted. But the point was that Simone had found out. How long until someone else who knows them does as well?

_What happens when they do?_ The thought came unbidden and Alex didn't have an answer to the pang that suddenly slammed into her chest and made it ache. Something told her she wasn't ready for that answer.

"Y'all grown and what have you," Simone continued, unaware of the turmoil she'd caused inside of Alex's mind as she carried on. "Just…"

The younger group member paused then and Alex saw Miss Bruce's car drive past which meant that he'd have to make a U-turn and then come into the parking lot entrance, but she couldn't move…not when Simone was staring at her like she was seeing through her, like she saw right into Alex's head and in her chest, like she could snatch whatever it was she found out into the open, like she could lay it bare for Alex and all the rest of the world to see. Alex wasn't ready to find out what the girl had seen, which was why she was taken aback when Simone finally said, "…just be careful, Alex."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…with whatever y'all doing with each other and fill free to never share any of those details 'cuz…_ugh_," Simone made the most disgusted face she could probably muster to accompany the noise she'd just made and Alex, despite how frazzled she still felt, couldn't help the way the corner of her mouth twitched in amusement. Giggling, Simone's lips curved into something soft and genial, but her eyes still held notes of somber that kept Alex on edge. "…with Star's heart…yours." Alex snorted.

"Simone, I can assure you that Star's heart is not nearly as invested as you think." Alex made the statement confidently, still watching for Miss Bruce and seeing his car pull in. Alex waved, rising to her feet with her blazer bunched up in her arms, and the fabulous hairstylist honked the horn, following the line of cars so he could turn and pull up front for them. So distracted by that, Alex almost missed Simone's quiet inquiry.

"And yours?" Alex whipped back to facing Simone. The girl was still seated, still peering at Alex with honey-flecked brown eyes that knew and experienced too much for her own good, who _saw_ too much for her own good. Alex's heart rattled her ribcage and her breath got caught in her throat, and the opportunity to have inserted a quick rebuttal, a reassurance, a denial – _something_ – passed her as quietly as a leaf in the wind.

Alex looked away from Simone, face burning and heart racing.

"Don't worry, Simone," she said, a smile stretched too thin, too wide on her face as Miss Bruce slowly pulled to a stop in front of them. "You won't have to worry about giving me any shovel talks any time soon."

Simone didn't answer for a good while. Miss Bruce had pulled up, but Alex hadn't been able to see that he'd been on his phone at the time and was still distracted, partially greeting them when he rolled the window down. So, she'd had enough to wave at Miss Bruce before opening the front passenger side door. But curiosity was a bitch and she couldn't help but glance at Simone again. This time, though, she'd only caught the tail end of something on Simone's face because she heard Star call them from behind and Simone just smiled, a flash of amusement flickering in her still knowing gaze, something light and acquiescing enough that Alex could breathe better.

"Good," she exclaimed. "I actually like you. I'd hate to have to plan what to do with your body."

If Alex was laughing too hard by the time Star came over, she wasn't going to answer to it.

* * *

**Honestly, I feel like the neither the script nor the characters – hell, **_**anybody**_** – gives Simone enough credit. She's a fool, she's got issues, and she's such a silly child, but she sees shit. And she's seeing through some shit right now.**

**I thought I'd get to a point where Simone and Alex would talk, and Simone would give her an actual shovel talk…but then this happened. **

**Who do you think is gonna stay in denial longer? Star or Alex? Who do y'all think gonna see through them next?**

**Let me know what you guys think! I'd really appreciate it 3**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

* * *

Star's heart was racing and she didn't know why.

Star liked Noah.

Oh, don't get it twisted – he was a rival. At the end of the day, he was against them and when it came down to it, Star was willing to cross this man for the sake of her group and the sake of their rise to fame. Because regardless of whatever Ayanna wanted to call it – them falling upwards or rising backwards or…well, anything else the controlling bitch wanted to call it because Star's brain was too tired to be doing this much work – Take 3 was going to rise to fame. Star would make sure of it. And Star would be damned if anyone, Noah included, got in the way of that.

That didn't mean she couldn't acknowledge that he was fine.

Just because Star typically hesitated when it came to pursuing guys didn't mean that she swore them off entirely. Hunter happened for a reason and not just because Star had fallen head over dumb ass heels for the abusive fuck; she hadn't even seen that side of him, not for real, not until after the first time he'd hit her. She tried not to think too hard on the fact that there had been an _after_ that particular moment; she should have just walked away.

Star could admit that she didn't always make the best decisions.

The _point_ was that no matter how easily Star pulled men, it did not mean that she slept with each and every one that happened to catch her eye. She'd been called slut and whore for years, and Star wouldn't lie and say that she wasn't one, but she was…there was a certain air of caution she took when she went after guys. How straight were they really? How bigoted? How much of her would they be eager to see before they saw something they didn't like? Star wasn't insecure by any means. She looked good, she knew she looked good – had a good string of exes and hook-ups to validate it.

Alex flashed across her mind, giving her pause when she entered Gravity Records. But Star was Star and stubborn to a fault, so she shoved the girl out of her thoughts.

Noah was fine and Noah wanted her.

Was he annoying? Absolutely. Did Star hate him? Not at all, not when his gaze would drop to her mouth when Star would lick her lips, on purpose, when speaking with him just because she knew he would and reveled in it. Not when he'd rake those same, heavy-lidded bedroom eyes up and down her frame, heat following the path his stare took, raking over her skin until Goosebumps formed and made her preen just as it made her shiver.

Not when she flirted just as much as he snarked, and he gave her as good as he got.

In fact, as much as she didn't want to think about Alex, she couldn't help but contrast the two of them, these two people she very much wanted to take a bite out of. These two very gorgeous people with their dark complexions that held golden undertones that was really fucking unfair when a certain light hit them, making their skin glow and look lickable. With their dark hair and dark eyes, and simple ways of getting Star a little hot and bothered because they weren't afraid of calling Star on her shit. There were obvious differences, clearly.

Noah who was taller whereas Alex was smaller; Noah whose arrogance damn near matched Star's, just as loud and unapologetic, a performance not many people saw through whereas Alex didn't have to flirt with anyone. Alex didn't have to smolder or take care in displaying any semblance of sensuality in her actions to maintain attention. She just did, like it was natural, easy like breathing, and she did it in such a way that made it look like she didn't care – she _didn't_ care and honestly, sometimes didn't notice, which drove Star up the wall because how could one gorgeous person not know how devastatingly gorgeous they were? Noah whose cologne was subtle, but poignant, creamy and woody and warm. Alex who smelled sweet and nutty and just as warm, inviting and delectable, vanilla and sugar and clean soap and toasted almonds that lingered on Star's tongue long after she'd already kissed her.

_Fuck_, she thought. She wasn't supposed to be thinking about Alex.

Star didn't want to know what it said about her that the two people she found attractive both literally confronted her at one point rather aggressively, stepping into her space with not a care in the world, and the only thing she could do was get hard like a goddamn idiot.

But that was the crux of the problem – she was attracted to them. To _both_ of them…which was…fine. It was fine. She was allowed to want whomever she happened to want. Star was single, Alex was single – even Noah was single. They were all adults. They could do whatever and whoever they wanted. And just like she had to concede to the fact that Alex didn't owe her an explanation to her relationship with Derek, Star didn't owe her anything either. She could see about this thing with Noah one time for the one time, and yet…

And yet…

Star gulped.

Noah was practicing in one of the dance studios with a mic stand, flannel shirt left unbuttoned to reveal the very defined, very toned chest and abdomen Star had already known he'd had from the countless magazine covers and advertisements she'd seen him on in the past. Noah hadn't exactly gotten to the level of popularity that Chris Brown had gotten in those beginning years, but he'd definitely been close, so she'd seen enough of him to know that he was the real deal.

And he was a goddamn scrumptious deal, if anyone asked her. There was no air-brushing or graphic effects added to that meal, thank you very much.

_So is she_, the thought came from nowhere and Alex flashed in her mind once more, the soft but firm skin of her belly like velvet beneath Star's fingertips, beneath Star's tongue, abs contracting beneath Star's faint licks and fainter touches. The thought punched her in the stomach, made her catch her breath because…because…

_Why?_

It made her want to do this even more.

It was easy too, even with Star's heart pounding _wrong-wrong-wrong_ in her chest, as she traipsed up behind Noah, eyebrow raised in challenge when he met her gaze in the mirror that took up the back wall of the studio so performers could see themselves as they practiced. He looked down for just a moment like the dramatic ass that he was before slowly bringing his gaze back up, the white of his teeth startlingly perfect against the chocolate of his skin as he dug his teeth into his full lower lip, extra as fuck but so very attractive that it made Star tingle just a little bit.

Star hated the part of her that thought that Alex's lip was fuller, that she _already_ preferred _that_.

"Wassup, Star?" Noah slurred, not drunk, not inebriated in any way, but Star felt drunk on…on something, something _good-bad-wrong_ – _Stop_, she, futilely, told her brain. Star's palms felt too warm, too much on the right-wrong side of clammy as she circled Noah, the faintest hint of a smile on her face as she pulled the mic stand away from him, watching him chuckle, watching his Adam's apple bob when he swallowed at her proximity.

It was easy and she was allowed this. Star was single and uninvolved and had nothing to feel guilty about and this was easy. She did not belong to Alex. It was easy to inch towards him as he did her, easy to eliminate the distance between them like it was easy to eliminate Alexandra Crane from her thoughts.

_Wrong wrong wrong_.

"You know what's buggin' me," she heard herself say, staring up at Noah who was taller, fine, and knew that he was fine – even if that was as annoying as it was intoxicating – and _so very much_ her type, and Star had always loved lovers who could tower over her. Maybe it was that latent Daddy issue one of her psychiatrists or case workers pointed out; she wasn't about to think too hard on that.

"Maybe you're right." Star told him, watching Noah watch her mouth, watching the way the overhead light caught on the faint glimmer of spit on his lower lip after he'd wet it, watching the way he watched her want a taste. She just wanted one taste, just one, and then she'd – just one and then –

Star didn't know what she'd said next, what she'd muttered against the space between their mouths as she reached out to graze his abdomen with her fingertips. She'd just come in close, testing waters, testing him, seeing if he'd pull back and being delighted when he didn't. Like her, Noah had worn loose shorts and as her fingers fell upon the waist band, dropping dangerously to his pubic bone before pulling him towards her by the band of his shorts, she didn't know…she didn't –

Noah's mouth brushed against hers, slowly, teasing, challenging. His facial hair pricked at her skin, a delightful warning for what was to come and Star just needed one taste – just one because she was…she didn't owe anyone anything and she was allowed…

Star kissed him.

Their lips were fully pressed against one another, slick and warm and new and _wrong-wrong-wrong_, and Star's other hand rose to Noah's shoulder, skipped to the back of his neck to cup him there and keep him in place. Star didn't owe anyone anything and she could do whatever she wanted, and Noah tasted like the minty cinnamon gum that Star hated, but it was sweet, delicious on her tongue and even more-so on his as he pressed it against the seam of her mouth, kissing her back, pressing into her and prying her mouth open and…and…

Star pulled away, breath coming out in a pant, chest feeling heavy, stretched too tight and she didn't…Alex hadn't owed her an explanation about Derek, but Star wanted it anyway because – because _she just did_; she was allowed to want what she wanted. And Noah was…Hunter had been the last guy Star had allowed herself to be with, but Noah didn't seem like a Hunter, not at all. And Star wasn't looking to become emotionally invested in anyone because she didn't let anyone past her boundaries, so this was good. This could be safe. Star could consider getting on her back for a lay like Noah, maybe even more than once if she wasn't…if she wasn't…

Noah's hand had fallen onto her hip, but trailed to the band of her shorts, and the pull on the elastic had her pulling away even as her heart raced with something like guilt, something like _wrong-wrong-wrong_ that left her breathless.

That left her needing to run.

"Careful there, Noah," she heard herself purr, felt her lips stretch into something like a grin even as her mind was going a thousand different ways, to somewhere else, to…to someone else. Noah looked surprised, but still interested when she posed it as a game, adding, "you didn't think I'd be that easy, did ya?"

Noah could've grabbed her and pulled her back and kissed her, and Star would've – could have – fallen back into the rhythm they'd been finding together.

But she was already slipping away and the grin was fading from her face and then she was leaving, walking away, heart slamming in her ribcage in time with each step she took, limbs heavy and Star had no reason to feel guilty at all.

Right?

It was easy to tell herself that she was going to Alex because Carlotta wanted to talk to the three of them. Star had had the car, Simone was already at the house doing homework before Star dropped her back off at the center, and Alex was at Miss Ruby's. Someone had to go get her and somehow, Star had convinced herself that Simone couldn't be disturbed until everyone was at the house to hear what Carlotta had to say.

It had nothing to do with the _wrong-wrong-wrong_ that made each step feel a little heavier than they had the right to, that pounded in her veins and in her chest and made her think. Made her think things she…she wasn't _ready_ to think about it.

It was late enough for Star to know that Miss Ruby was still out at the church; she faithfully helped at the church with closing the building up, making sure all doors were locked after events. Alex had mentioned something about some youth thing; Star hadn't actually paid any attention to what the other girl had said. She tried not to think about Alex at Derek's grandmother's house, living with Derek and helping Derek and being so overwhelmed with Derek…_Stop_, she had to remind herself.

Alex didn't owe her anything and she didn't…why couldn't she finish that fucking sentence?

The question was enough to distract her at first when she'd approached the front porch and door, but when she'd knocked the second time, a flurry of movement caught Star's attention from one of the front windows. Because of the weather, Alex said that Miss Ruby kept the windows somewhat open at the bottom to let the breeze on in; she was not about to waste her bill when they all had fans and the evening breeze to get them by. The blinds were down, but they weren't all the way closed and the windows were not down all the way. So, Star peered inside in time to see Derek on the floor and Alex rushing over.

And then couldn't turn away when she heard everything else.

"Derek, oh my God, are you okay?" Alex asked, crouching beside him. Star watched as the girl checked him over; Derek looked out of it, out of it and pissed. "I told you to call me if you needed me."

"I'm fine, Alex," he said gruffly, dismissively, and Star huffed. How the fuck was he going to have an attitude when she was just trying to help his ungrateful ass? She watched Alex roll her eyes and take one of his arms, pulling it over her shoulders.

"This isn't fine and you know it." Alex tried taking some of Derek's weight so that she could hoist him up, and Star faintly thought that she had never seen Alex as strong enough to do so but the thought was halted when Derek apparently snatched his arm away.

"I said I'm fine, leave it the hell alone, damn." Alex recoiled and rose to her feet, fists in her hand as she seemed to take a few breaths. This has happened before, Star realized. They've done this before. _And you never helped the situation either_, her mind reminded her and Star's chest was too tight again, too heavy and too guilty.

"Derek," Alex's voice shook, fighting for control, fighting for calm. "Do not talk to me like that. You know how I feel when you get like this. I am just trying to help." Derek was full-on glaring now, anger and bitterness in his eyes and Star had never seen such a look on his face. And especially not directed at Alexandra.

"And nobody asked you too!" He shouted and Star flinched, shocked out of her mind. "All I'm asking is for you to give me space and I'll handle it." He looked away from Alex, clearly upset and clearly not thinking when he added in a lower, but equally incensed tone, "Always gotta be a fuckin' – "

"What?" Alex demanded, looming over him in her thin tank top and baggy shorts, eyes alight with righteous rage and Star saw the exact moment when Derek realized he'd fucked up. "A bitch?" Derek did not answer, but Alex clearly didn't care because she kept on going, voice gone louder, "Because _this_ bitch is the only one here to help your sorry ass!"

Everyone was silent and the wind whistled past Star's ears as she swallowed, hard. Star had never seen Alex and Derek argue in all honesty. She knew that they had, that Derek had been pissed with Alex for lying about her family and who she was. She knew that they had issues from time to time; all couples did. But they had never been like her and Hunter, never exploded, never raised their hands, never hurt each other. But Derek was hurting Alex and Alex was giving as good as she got and Star didn't understand why.

Why was Alex putting up with this?

Star watched Derek apologize and say something quiet. She saw Alex run a hand over her face, stopping that very hand over her eyes as she breathed and breathed and made Star want to – she wanted to hold Alex. They didn't cuddle after sex, not really, and they didn't always show affection, even as friends. But Star wanted to just – she'd hold her and hug her and be there, even though dealing with emotional shit made her itch. But she did it when Simone needed her and Star liked affection far more than she was used to receiving, but Alex…she – she was hers, Star's.

Whatever that meant.

And she deserved better.

So, Star waited until she saw Derek situated back on the couch with Alex's help, watched them robotically maneuver around one another and fix what had fallen out of place at the same time that Derek had fallen, no longer curious about what Alex and Derek were because Alex didn't owe her an explanation and Alex and Derek had fallen out of place and couldn't fix it that.

Then and only then did she knock, knocked as if she'd just gotten there and hadn't seen what she saw.

Alex tensed, but something in the line of her shoulders softened when her eyes landed on Star's through the window. The dark-skinned beauty smiled, this thin thing that made Star's heart ache, and Star knew that her own answering smile was just as frail.

Star was off when Alex greeted her at the door and when Alex closed the door behind her, and when Alex led her to the porch swing that Miss Ruby liked to sit out on first thing in the morning. She was off even as she opened her mouth, unsure how to navigate this thing, how to navigate to the surge of…of protectiveness she'd felt clawing up her chest and her throat and made her want to wrap Alex up in her arms and keep her to herself because…because…

Star was uninvolved and they were friends. She had the right to be…protective of what was…hers. And Alex was…_hers_. Just like Simone.

"Carlotta wanted to talk to us, but ummm…you good?" It sounded lame, especially with how displaced Star's voice sounded, how out of tune she was. She'd even tucked the longer hair that made up her fringe behind her ear, a display of nerves, of discomfort, she wasn't used to. Star heard the lie before Alex even opened her mouth.

"Yeah." Alex blinked, tone too flat and false, eyes too cold, smile too thin. "I'm great."

"You sure?" Alex snorted.

"One-hundred, why?" Star breathed in sharply through her nose. She couldn't get over Alex trying to lift Derek, trying and probably succeeding multiple times a day. Couldn't get over that she must have been working herself, even when she was pregnant, up to that point where she didn't need any help to help Derek. She just could and she did, so much and every single day. Her exhale was heavy and slow, and unsteady.

"I was knocking and I, uh…I saw you in there. With Derek." Star didn't like the way Derek's name fell from her lips, like he was something bad when Alex was…Alex was good, so fucking good. And not in that sexy way that she definitely wanted to explore at another time, but in a _good-pure-right_ way that made warmth blossom in Star's chest, smoldering and undeniable and_ too-much-too-good _that was more than Star could handle.

Alex faltered, face falling, shifting uncomfortably.

Star's heart _ached_.

"Alex, I knew that things were hard, but I did not know it looked like that. And you've been doing that every day."

_I'm sorry_ was stuck at the roof of her mouth and Star's guilt stretched her skin too thin, made her want to cry, want to let the tears Alex wasn't crying run down her face in burning hot tracks. Star may have burned bright and indignantly, but she could be like Alex, she could be ice and Star felt it. Felt the ice in her stick in her throat as she wrestled with these feelings that were too strong for her to handle, that she couldn't – no, _wouldn't_ – name.

Her whole body felt like ice and she _needed_ to be ice. She needed to be unaffected and distant like a friend because that was what she was. A friend – Alex's friend. Frozen. Mutable. Beautiful. But the look on Alex's face…it…Star was uninvolved and didn't owe anyone anything, but Alex – Alex _melted_ her.

Oh. _Fuck_.

Be frozen, be ice, be a friend, be…uninvolved, be –

"I mean, I told you so," Star heard herself say, not really looking at Alex, not even believing her own audacity to be brittle and bitchy like this, but needing it. Needing it even more when she heard Alex laugh, when she realized _she _had made Alex laugh. Too soon, though, and Star realized that the laugh was too short, too…off.

"I told you so?" Alex asked incredulously.

"You know what I'm tryna say, I'm saying…" _Ice._ Star sighed. "I'm sorry you're going through this." Alex shut her eyes.

"Don't worry about it, Star," she said, sullen, quiet, resigned. "It's nothing." Star was shaking her head before the words finished leaving her mouth, reaching a hand over to Alex's. The girl tensed almost immediately and Star would've pulled away, surprised at her own move, if Alex hadn't relaxed barely a heartbeat later, leaned into her touch like she needed it.

"It's not nothing," Star swore vehemently. "No, that's not – Alex, that's…that's…_why_?" Star couldn't string her thoughts together; they'd been a jumble since she'd initially gone out and seen Noah, and the memory of that slammed into her just as viciously as her need to protect Alex, to understand. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I have to, Star."

"No," Star hissed. Star had sympathy for Derek – so much sympathy. He didn't deserve to be in a wheelchair. He didn't deserve to have his quality of life, what he was used to, diminished by someone else's carelessness. He didn't deserve to have to adjust to what he probably had always seen as an impossibility. But Alex didn't deserve this either.

And Alex was hers, not Derek's.

"No, you don't have to do this." Alex blinked too many times and Star was ice, but she heard something crack, felt something smart inside of her, flare bright and hot deep inside and she wanted to curl around Alex like she'd curl around Simone on her worst days, except this was different. This was…this was… "Derek's got Miss Ruby. He's got family, friends – friends he's known longer than you, okay? He's got – and you've been dealing with this and him for – ever since you lost the baby – "

"I didn't lose the baby, Star."

The world froze.

Star swallowed. She counted to ten. Alex looked away and…oh. _Oh_.

"Alex…" Star's mouth fell open, but no more words came out. Nothing, no thoughts, no – _oh_.

Alex discreetly swiped at her eyes.

"Alex, no…" Star murmured and Alex snorted, half amused, half…half –

Alex had never wanted an abortion. "I've never had one before," she'd said and Star had known, amidst feeling offended that Alex would come to her as if Star had ever been stupid enough to find herself in a situation like that with anyone, that Alex didn't want an abortion. She'd known Alex wouldn't have one before Alex had informed them that she wouldn't, that she was going to keep her baby and she and Derek were going to have one cute ass kid. Simone was going to do their hair and Star was going to teach them how to be a little shit, and…and…

"Yeah," Alex whispered, voice so soft that Star felt the corners of her eyes burn. "I got an abortion."

Time stretched and stretched, too long, too quietly, too…_too much_.

Alex laughed, short and sad and bitter.

"I was such an idiot," she declared and Star blinked, eyes still burning, throat burning. She was ice, but she was not. "Gravity Records was supposed to make us. Didn't matter that Derek and I had already – we couldn't…but then…then it was one setback after one setback, one disappointment after disappointment. And then suddenly I was nineteen with a baby I couldn't take care of, an ex I couldn't take care of, and a career I couldn't take care of." She turned to Star and her eyes were too glassy, too bright and Star wanted… "I couldn't take care of a baby in the middle of all that."

Alex sucked in a sharp breath that shook her just as it shook Star.

"Alex…" Star had to center herself before she spoke up again, before she asked, "…why didn't you tell us? Tell me?"

"Star, I didn't tell anybody." Alex said and it was the way that she said it that gave Star pause, that made her look – _really_ look. And Star's baby blues went wide.

"Not even…?"

"Not even Derek," Alex answered.

They were a right mess. Star with her Daddy and mommy issues, with her need for a stage – for stardom, for _more_. Simone with her vices, with her own familial issues and drinking and marijuana and traumas. And Alex with her – with _this_. Star was protective of what was hers, of Simone, of their future, and her own well-being and success, of Alex. And it was okay – it was okay because it was just like Simone except…except it _wasn't._

Was it?

It _wasn't_ because Star was guilty and she kissed Noah and Alex had been alone with this – _breaking_ with this – and she wanted to wrap Alex up in her arms and not let go, and she wanted to lay her down and let her cry because Star felt damn close to it and one of them was allowed to be brittle, too sharp and glass-made but Alex…Alex didn't need that. Alex was good, was _too-much-too-good_ and…and…_hers_. And Star didn't – Star didn't _do_ this, not anymore – not since Hunter, since Mom and Brody. She didn't do this, she pulled away – she _always_ pulled away before…before…before anyone gets too close but –

_Alex was already there_, something in her mind said, honest, raw, earth-shattering. _She was there – _here_. Because she's family._ Except…it wasn't like family, not really, not like Simone. Because…because…

Star thought she might have a heart attack.

"At least…at least he's paralyzed and can't beat your ass." Star heard herself say and was so relieved by it because she felt – _things_, too many to count or name. Alex bowed her head with her laugh, this bright sound that erupted from her mouth without her permission if the disbelieving look she gave Star said anything.

"I hate you," she declared.

"What? It's a plus," Star told her, still feeling brittle, still cold but thawing and _feeling_. She smirked at Alex, "Trust me – I know." Alex's eyes went sad then, pitying, but Star didn't – Star didn't _need_ that.

"We're a mess." Some time had passed, more time than it should have taken for Star to retrieve Alex and bring her back to Carlotta. But that seemed so far away and Star…Star wanted to keep Alex to herself, wanted to – she didn't know what she wanted to do and it was too much. Alex sighed deeply. "I'm nineteen and playing nurse to my ex."

"A sexy nurse," Star offered and Alex shook her head. Her eyes weren't glassy anymore, but they shined with the light peeking out through the blinds of Miss Ruby's windows.

"Just…don't tell anyone." Star wouldn't. Star would _never_ – she can't believe Alex would think that she would – she wouldn't. But Alex was insistent, scared and guilty and Star knew guilt because it was still settled deep inside of her, in her gut, unwelcome and acidic and bubbling hot when she should have been frozen. "Star, I'm serious. I have – nothing. No one can know…this is – I can't. I can't do anything…about our future, Derek's. This…it's all I have."

She was wrong. Star felt the words clawing at her throat, but her tongue was heavy and she could still taste the cinnamon, _wrong-wrong-wrong_, and Alex was just wrong. Alex had Simone and Miss C, and Cotton and Miss Bruce. And Star – Alex had _Star_. And it was – it was scary, it made Star's bones shake, a chill that wasn't a chill settling in her spine and clouding her head, making the world fuzzy and her heart was beating so fast she was sure even Alex could hear it. But Alex _had_ her…she had –

Alex had _everything_.

And Star was not frozen at all.

"You know what? Either way? You know what you got?" Alex took a long time to look at her and when she did, she must've seen something on Star's face because she got weary, wary, but Star had to…Star couldn't – she felt too much and this was simple, easy.

"Come here," Star heard herself purr and she extended her arms, pulling at Alex amidst the girl's protests. "Come on – you've got these two…" Alex knew where she was going because she put her hands up, momentarily stopping her own descent into Star's arms, but Star was determined – resolute. And shaking, somewhere, somewhere hidden and dark and scared and _too-much-too-soon_.

It was so much easier to pretend to be light when Star felt heavy.

"…these two beautiful boobs…"

Alex snorted, almost interrupting but Star persisted until Alex was cradled in her arms. And Alex was stubborn – stubborn like Star, but Star could make her melt too, and she did. She fell with her head atop Star's chest, yammering out her protestations, and Star's heart was hammering in her chest cavity, but Alex was warm and _good-pure-right _and she fit right there, right where she shouldn't, right where Star wasn't supposed to want her but –

"…to rest your weary head on," Star told her, petting Alex's head and knowing damn well the brunette probably wanted to smack her. She just also knew that she wouldn't. Alex didn't pull away, but she shook with laughter against Star, Star who was shaking and…and…and…

"I don't need this at all." Alex declared, voice slightly muffled by Star half smashing her face into Star's chest. But she didn't pull away.

"Everybody does," Star replied. "They just don't know it yet." Alex choked on a laugh and she didn't pull away because she did; she needed this and so much more and Star…Star –

She needed this, too.

And Star didn't know how to handle that.

* * *

**Sooooo…wasn't nobody gonna tell me I was calling this label Midtown Sounds when it was still called Gravity Records in the earlier parts of season 2? Y'all I felt so stupid :p**

**Anyway, this chapter is A LOT more emotional and longer than I originally planned, I blame Star. **

**Don't hate me…Stoah isn't exactly real in this…I think. No offense to anyone who genuinely ships them. I have plans for him, though.**

**Let me know what you guys think! Give a vote and/or comment, I'd really appreciate it 3**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

* * *

_Denial_

_Trials_

_You tripping_

_Underwater ain't no grip_

_Going under with the ship_

Alex paused as she dragged out that last run, letting it linger in the air when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. She tapped her phone screen, pausing the instrumental she'd transferred from the recording studio's system into her device so she could take it wherever she wanted.

Derek was staring, a peculiar look on his face and she tilted her head curiously, a subtle smile forming on her lips. He had his laptop in his lap again and he wasn't banning himself to his room anymore like he had since the night of their argument. They'd just set up camp in there anyway for the time being.

"What?" She asked. Derek ducked his head and she couldn't even find it in her to feel uncomfortable with the blush that rose to his face, not when she felt…Alex felt _good_. She didn't know why but she did, and not even acknowledging that she and Derek were clearly going to have to get back on one page about his feelings for her could ruin that.

"Nothing, it's just…" Derek stopped himself and then met her gaze again, a thoughtful expression on his face. "…you look…happy." Heat rushed to Alex's cheeks as he added, "It's just really good to see you smile again."

Alex had been smiling all morning. Don't ask her why because she didn't actually have a reason – not really, not one she wanted to admit to. She'd just woken up and she was in a good mood, and she didn't have an explanation. So, what?

Okay – so, Ayanna told them that they could perform at the label party, which ended with her threatening them to be on their best behavior. If Alex remembered correctly, she'd heard something about Ayanna's father coming to the event, which probably explained the older woman's antsy, bitchier than normal behavior, but even that had only added to what Alex was feeling. Alex was feeling…

Light.

Alex had been feeling _light_.

It had been a long time since Alex had felt light, like she was allowed to not be weighed down by anything, like her shoulder could rest easy for once. It felt like Big Trouble was finally getting some attention. There were going to be other artists at the party, other opportunities to collaborate. Which also meant more time in the studio for Alex to play with sounds and equipment and really be in her element. It felt like it was a change of pace for everyone. Simone was still at the correctional facility most of the time, but maybe having a performance – a pretty big performance since the television stunt with Noah – would do her some good. It would definitely do Alex some good, probably let Carlotta relax again. And Star…Star was –

Star was weird.

Alex was still trying to figure out if it was a good weird or bad weird, or even a combination of the two.

_They didn't talk about Brody, not really. _

_Star had talked Alex into coming with her to drop off Simone, so just when they had returned and were about to part ways, Carlotta greeting them from the porch, Alex had been taken aback by the vitriolic words that Carlotta had for something behind them. _

_Then she'd turned and it wasn't something – no, _someone_, this fifty-something, rough-around-the-edges blonde man with familiar, steel-blue eyes. _

_Star hadn't taken Brody's return well. _

_They didn't talk about it, though. Alex thought that they were both probably exhausted of talking and feelings, and Alex had went to sleep with the heat of Star's chest still lingering on her cheek, the da-dum-da-dum of the blonde's heartbeat working too well at lulling Alex into a deep slumber the second her head had grazed the pillow of the bed they'd managed to squeeze into Derek's bedroom because Miss Ruby refused to allow Alex to sleep out on the couch. _

"_Alexandra, why in the hell did I let your ass drag me to West End mall?" Star demanded, roughly sliding a couple racks of clothes out of her way in a false attempt to peruse through the clothes. _

"_Um, probably because you were just as bored as me," Alex replied, holding up an oversized jumper that had these slashes along the sleeves and was yellow. Alex didn't have this at all and was half tempted to actually buy it with the little money she had. She heard Star scoff indignantly and added, "Don't front like you weren't." _

_Star hadn't been in a good mood since seeing Brody. She'd been snappy, especially with Simone who'd already said that she wanted to see the only real father she had ever known. That she wanted to hear what he had to say and tell him everything – about the homes she'd been to, Star finding her, them becoming a group. Star didn't think he deserved shit and made it very clear to Simone. Rudely, if Alex was being honest. _

_But she wasn't…she wasn't that way with Alex. Star had always sniped at Alex when she could, didn't seem to know how to dial down the sass or how to not say some slick shit. That was fine, though. Alex met her where she was or just plain ignored her, which either entertained Star or riled her the hell up. Alex didn't usually care which so long as Star knew Alex wasn't dealing with her attitude. However, Star wasn't doing any of that. She was just – she just __**was**__ and she didn't take any of her frustration out on Alex, and she came to the mall with Alex even though Alex could tell that being here was not nearly as important to her as it was to Alex. _

_The thought that Star'd come anyway…well, it – it jumpstart her heart like that one time Miss C's car stopped working for awhile before finally turning back on, purring back to life like it had never stopped, made her fingers tingle. Made her head woozy. _

_Alex ran the tip of her tongue over her lips, wetting them, eyeing the jumper. Sighing, and knowing she didn't need it, she put it back on its hanger and then back on its rack. _

"_Alright, let's go," she exclaimed, shoving her hands into her pockets. Star immediately perked up then, dropped a pair of stilettos abruptly, letting them fall into a perfectly put together display of shoes that some poor Rainbow employee was going to be pissed to have to reorganize. Alex let her know her disapproval with a look, but Star's grin was unrepentant. "We already got what Miss Bruce needed from MaxWay."_

"_Finally. Don't even know why you wanted to look in here anyway," Star complained and led the way out the door. Alex hesitated only for a moment, but she'd seen the sensors when they first walked into the store. Heard one of the cashiers remark that it had been giving them trouble all day. Didn't let herself think why that thought mattered to her. Luckily, Star kept talking, unaware of Alex's thoughts, of Alex's front right pocket, still complaining. "You already blew a stack this week anyway." _

"_What? When?" Star gave her a long look once they were past the door. Alex pretended like she wasn't breathing easier once in the wide corridor. She refused to look back._

"_C'mon, Alexandra. Every week you been poppin' out a new bracelet like it's Christmas." Alex snorted, ignoring the very dramatic expression on Star's face as they walked side by side. She pulled her hands out of her pocket, whisper-soft feather pressed into her palm, the probing end digging into her skin. "All I'm sayin' is if we cuttin' checks like that, I want a piece." _

_Alex hadn't needed the set of earrings. She didn't even normally wear feather drop earrings; it wasn't a part of her style. It was a touch too flashy for her, if that made any sense. Granted, Alex still loved diamonds and statement necklaces, but she'd never been a fan of earrings that brushed her shoulders. Yet and still, they'd sauntered over to the jewelry together and it was cheap. The store was cheap. Alex could steal more, better if she wanted to. She didn't even the breakable multi-feathered rhinestone drop earrings with its French wire and fake gold when Alex had had real gold in her ears before. _

_But she had wanted it. Alex didn't like this new habit of hers, but goddamnit did it thrill her. Made her heart pick up in a way that didn't scare her – that was exhilarating and dangerous and fun and so very much not like herself that she should feel appalled. Does feel appalled…somewhere deep down inside. But Star had gotten distracted by this pleather number and then Alex was skipping along to the other side of the store, hands sliding over cotton and thick wool, pocket made heavy by something so light. _

"_When'd you get that?" _

_Alex flinched, not having paid attention to Star having stopped speaking, to Star having begun to watch her. She glimpsed the blonde's perturbed expression briefly before looking away, mouth dry. _

"_Uh, girl, weeks ago." Alex hated that her voice did that thing where it went up an octave, even as she tried to keep her tone and posture casual, normal. She could feel Star's stare on the side of her face._

"_And you just…kept it in your pocket the whole time?"_

"_Yep." Alex did not have to look at Star to spot the questioning look on the other girl's face, didn't have to because she felt it, felt Star's stare burning into her cheek, hot and probing. _

_Star stopped walking. _

_Alex did not. _

"_Alex…"_

_No response._

"_Alexandra…" _

_Alex hated when Star said her name like that. She hated when anyone said her name. Alexandra sounded like a chastisement, like derision-colored disappointed, like Rose's voice with Rose's accent and like every part of Alex that wasn't refined enough for her mother's tastes. Star never sounded like that, not ever, but the way she said it – it made Alex shudder, this odd mix of pleasure and discomfort that made her belly flip. The blonde crooner pronounced every damn syllable of her name and Alex felt them, felt each and every one like Star was striking a single nerve ending every time a single syllable fell from her lips. It prickled over her skin, made her hyperaware of each move the blonde made, made her anticipatory when she had no right to be anticipating a goddamn thing. _

"_Did you – ?" Star trailed off for a brief moment and Alex paused then, turning around, staring only at Star who glanced back in the direction they had just come from and then back at Alex. "Did you just…?" She couldn't even get the question out and Alex wasn't even going to help her out with that. _

"_I have no idea what you're talking about, Star." She said it with a straight face and Star's suspicious features went with bright with alarm, with surprise, with…with – wait, was that pleasure? _

"_Hold the fucking press – are you kidding me?" Star damn near shouted and Alex rushed to the girl, hissing, taking Star's arm to hook it with her own and dragging her against Alex as Alex continued walking. There was a security guard, but he seemed more focused on the Subway sandwich in his hands than actually securing anything._

"_Ssshhhhh!" Star's mouth was pink and glossy and open, stretched into a wide grin and her eyes were suspiciously thrilled. Alex hated how much she liked that look._

"_Oh my God, Simone is right," Star declared. "We really corrupted you." Alex snorted and laughed at the same time, shoving the earrings back into her pocket. "I didn't even see you grab it." _

"_That's the point." Alex set her with a playful look that bordered on sharp. "You didn't." Star's eyes were still a thrilled blue, considering and thoughtful. The attention made heat wash over Alex's face and she rolled her eyes, bumping Star lightly. The blonde had yet to dislodge their arms. "Go on – ask."_

"_When did this start?" Star asked. Alex debated lying, but she decided against it. She had already not thought things through when she had pulled the stupid piece of jewelry out; she might as well be real. _

"_About a month ago, I guess." _

_Star gaped at her at that and Alex wanted to tell her everything, wanted to tell her that she had never considered stealing before. Wanted to tell her that she knew that it was wrong and that she didn't really mean to do it – even though she didn't want to investigate what that train of thought sounded like. She wanted to say that she was going to stop, but that it was hard – so very hard because this was…Alex had no control over anything and this did something for her, bolstered her, gave her a pick-me-up that not even her music could, made her feel alive. Instead, she sighed, approaching the entrance, "I already know what you're thinking. You think I'm crazy." Star snorted gracelessly. _

"_Oh, bitch I knew you were crazy when your ass sat at a table with all of us wondering which one of us shot Otis and you didn't run," Star corrected her and the laugh was punched out of Alex's gut, made her keel over a little and Star was beaming at her because of it, chuckling in glee and amusement at Alex's bewildered relief. _

_When Alex could breathe again, Star was still smiling, though there was a spark in her gaze that took Alex aback. A spark that sizzled, that fanned the flame in Alex's heart that had been on low simmer since the second Star had stomped into Rainbow behind her even though she hadn't wanted to but came only because Alex did, a burst of air over smoldering coal. It made her belly flutter, which was only worsened when Star asked, voice gone low, eyes electric and challenging, "Wanna do it again?" _

_Alex gaped. _

"_Oh, baby, this was nothin,'" Star declared. "I've been lootin' since I could walk." Alex knew that. Star had been arrested for petty theft before; she'd told her. Alex had expected judgement, but this was the same chick who'd jumped over the counter at a McDonalds in Pittsburg, stole a large fry, and then hopped back over it and booked it down the street like her life depended on it – not because she had wanted it, not because she had been starving, but simply because Star had wanted it. _

_Alex should not be as interested as she was. _

_And she most definitely should not be feeling a slow burn in the pit of her belly, molten and churning and pooling directly into her groin. _

"_No." Was Alex's immediate answer, but Star was already pulling her, Alex was already gone. She tried to pretend to resist, though, planting her feet for all of two seconds. "Star…no…"_

"_Star, yes." Came the very eager, very determined response and Alex was so gone, swept up in the exhilaration she'd found in Star's grin as the blonde decided on which store they needed to visit when she had once been just as eager to leave. _

_Alex was even more gone when they'd walked out Citi Trends, peering into Alex's phone and at her Twitter feed, looking up at one another, something passing between them, a current beneath the good-bad-exciting of what they'd stuffed into Alex's purse, a hint of a riptide that nearly stole Alex's breath. _

_And if she tried to say she hadn't been gone when Star practically dragged her into the bathroom and crowded Alex into the door the second she had closed it, shoving her into it and shoving her mouth onto Alex's, making Alex taste the salt of the French fries they'd shared even though Star swore up and down that she didn't share, licking the inside of Alex's mouth with her tongue like she owned it and forcing the taste through – Alex would be lying. _

"I haven't seen you smile like that in a long time," Derek continued and Alex blinked once, twice. She hadn't even realized that she'd spaced out. Back to the present, she peered at Derek who stared at her long and hard, uncertainty in his eyes mixed with a longing that made her sigh.

"Derek…"

"Look, I've been thinking…"

"I know you have," Alex said slowly, gently, so very delicately because she had always known that they were going to have to have this conversation.

She hadn't wanted to; she thought they could leave this in the past like she was trying to do with her parents, like the abortion clinic Rose had taken her to all the way in Savannah so nobody would know it was her. The thought made the guilt well up again, heavy still but maybe not as overwhelming and oppressive as before. But clearly they – no, _she_ and Alex was convinced that _she_ hadn't set the true tone for their relationship like she was supposed to, and that was on her – needed to clear the air before she continued to give Derek any wrong impressions. So, she sighed again, not breaking eye contact.

Alex couldn't tell him about the baby and what she had done, couldn't admit that she had lied about the only chance he might very well have of being a father and how she had played the biggest part in thwarting that dream. He deserved that truth and maybe, maybe one day she'll be willing to give it to him. To brave the harsh reality of his anger and maybe even his hate and disgust. She might even deserve it. But Derek deserved this truth if only to save him from disappointment later.

"And I know exactly what you're going to say and I don't want to hurt your feelings, Derek, but I can't give us another chance. What we had – it was good. And I loved you and thank you for loving me when I definitely didn't give you the honesty you deserved in the beginning," she told him, wincing internally when hurt bled through Derek's features. "But I can't be what you need me to be if that – if_ this_ – is what you need." Alex didn't want to hurt him, not at all. Derek deserved to feel light, too, deserved to be free and smile like Alex felt like smiling, and he wasn't going to find that with her.

_Not now_, she thought before shaking the very thought from her head.

Derek didn't say anything for a very long time and Alex waited with baited breath, hoping that he would understand.

"Do you ever think about it?" Derek asked, no longer looking at her, staring into his lap, into his hands where there could have been an infant with her skin and his hair. Alex blinked at the tears she hadn't realized had begun to well up. Derek glanced up then as he continued, "About us? What we would've been like? Our baby?" The next breath Alex took was shakier than she had intended.

"I stand behind what I said, Derek. We would've made one beautiful baby. But we had broken up before I ever – before I lost it. And there was no getting that back, Derek." Derek scoffed.

"How do you know that?"

"Because I saw it," she replied. "What we do now – this back-and-forth? Us fighting? We were already doing that back then." Alex frowned deeply, recalling an instance where one of Derek's cousins had given him one too many beers, even after Alex had begged him to stop. She could never forget the way the world had slowed down around her, hadn't been able to hide the flinch of a glass bottle shattering against the wall far behind her, looking at Derek with his eyes alight with rage and seeing Rose Crane on the floor, her own vomit and tears soaking her front as she screamed at Alex to leave.

Alex blinked, but a tear fell anyway, so she wiped it away as quickly as she could.

Alexandra Crane had never been so…so…so _fragile_ before. She was supposed to be the Ice Queen, impervious to the vulnerability that Ayanna claimed fans needed to see from her in order to listen to her music. But Alex was learning – and struggling with learning – that Atlanta had changed her. That everything she had seen and heard and felt had changed her, and that Alexandra Crane had been wearing her heart on her sleeve for far longer than she had ever really realized. She had just managed to trick herself, too busy piling on Gucci bracelets and hoping the steel encasing her wrists could repel the outside world like she was a mockery of some comic book superhero.

"I saw our lives because I already lived it," Alex confessed. "You're going to walk again – I already know it. I have _faith_ in that and you know that's saying something coming from me. And then you would've…gone back to protesting and hosting marches, and I would have worried like I did before. Trying to support you, trying to understand – _knowing_ you were right, but not – I would've been my Dad. I would've buried myself in music and Hollywood and…" Alex faltered, feeling herself choke up. Derek was staring and she swallowed, hard. "…and I would've seen my parents' neglect reflected in our baby's eyes."

"Alex…"

"I'm not like Star." Alex shouldn't be mentioning Star, not in this conversation, not with Derek. She swallowed again, begged her heart to stop trying to climb up her throat. "I don't see the spotlight and see having it made. I see…" Alex saw Roland Crane's frame stalking down the hall, his back to her and her songs in his hand as he went to go record them for himself because Alex wasn't good enough to bring her own music to life. "…I see what's been. I see money and power, and what that does to people and I…I hate him. I hate him so much and you know how much I do, and I hate that I see so much of him in me. And with the way we were going, trying to have our baby, trying to keep us when we were losing us, Derek, I couldn't – "

Alex stopped herself short.

_No_. She had to, she couldn't – _stop_. She had to give herself a moment of reprieve because that sounded a lot like a confession, that sounded a lot like truth and that truth would have them screaming and hollering and throwing things and saying things that nobody meant. Then it would be too late to take any of it back. Alex didn't want that. Derek didn't deserve that.

And neither did she.

Alex took another breath before she began again, smiling at Derek softly. "I loved you. Please, don't ever doubt that. I loved you and I came to Atlanta looking to find something new, something that was mine and not colored by Roland Crane's legacy. And you and the girls were it." Alex bit her lower lip. "But I've been trying to…fix everything and do everything that…that I forgot how to really love me, too."

"Can't say I don't know the feeling," Derek murmured after a while and Alex hummed in agreement. They didn't look at each other for a beat, blanketed by silence, by what could have been. Then Derek chuckled, this startling sound that made Alex's gaze flit back to his. "Would've been one cute ass family." She laughed.

"Oh, definitely."

"The next Ace family." Alex hummed then in thought, only slightly seeing it.

"Just cuter," she supplied. "Less colorist."

Derek laughed then and Alex cherished the sound, the way it bounced off the walls of a bedroom that was once light. Maybe they could repaint it for him, make something new and good and free. She laughed with him, glimpsing her phone when it vibrated. She'd had it on silent. Star was ready to go pick up Simone and was just about to head outside so they could all see Ayanna. Alex didn't realize she'd been smiling, but she was, nodding to herself as she thought to collect herself and meet Star at the car. So, she told Derek that she had to go and started gathering her things.

"Can I ask you something?" The question seemed abrupt, but Alex was distracted with packing her bag, so her response was carefree.

"Yeah, sure."

"You seeing someone?"

Alex almost dropped the bag she'd just retrieved.

Derek was…Derek was looking at her with that same pondering expression on his face, watchful and waiting and Alex…Alex thought of Simone. She thought of Simone and the way Simone had peered up at her the other day like she knew something that Alex did not. No – like she knew something Alex knew as well and just wasn't allowing herself to say aloud. Seeing such a similar expression on Derek's face stumped her, made her think about sleeves and hearts and being obvious.

Which was why she could only stare back, lips parted but unable to say a word.

"I know, it's not my business or nothin,'" Derek said, ducking his head, placating her. But Alex didn't need placating; she just needed to answer, to tell him the truth because there was a truth and there was no reason why her mouth didn't form the words. "You don't gotta tell me."

_But I'm not_, she thought and could not say aloud because…because…

…because Alex was _obvious_ and that was not the truth.

Robotically, Alex finished gathering everything she needed for the day, stuffing rehearsal clothes and her notebook and charger into her bag while Derek awkwardly set to doing some pull-ups, trying not to look her way. She didn't even know how to say goodbye, so caught off by her own thoughts, by his questions, by…by everything.

"Derek, why did you just ask me that?"

The question got blurted out. Alex had just gotten past the bedroom door, heart pitter-pattering in her chest, but she hadn't been able to walk away. Not without – she couldn't not have him explain himself. Derek paused with his head above the metal bar, sighed, and then lowered himself down carefully back into his chair, arms shaking. Distantly, Alex hoped he would stop after awhile; she hated when he tried exercising when no one was home.

"Your smile." His laugh was short, reminiscent and sadder than she would've liked to hear. "I haven't seen that since – you haven't smiled like _that_ since…"

_Us_, she finished for him in her head and she found herself nodding, heard herself telling him to call her if he needed anything, and that she was locking the front door until whenever Miss Ruby got back home from her girls' day.

Alex still felt light, so above the carpet that blended into the wood floors of Miss Ruby's home, down the creaky stairs of the front parch; above the concrete pavement as her feet led her to Carlotta's car where Star was waiting. Alex was light and she'd been smiling, smiling brighter than she has in a while, smiling like she had back then, back when she was with Derek, when she was falling in –

Alex needed a drink.

* * *

**Mmmmm…felt like Derek and Alex needed to have a talk. If they weren't gonna be together, I needed Alex to explain her why because we all know how cute they were on the show. **

**One question, Alex – why can't you answer that question, boo?**

**Also, stealing is bad, folks :p even if bae is down for the cost. **

**Do you guys think I should delve into other characters' points of view? I'd been debating it since Alex and Noah's first scene, and I'm half thinking I should just to see everything from Simone's mind. Hmmmmm….**

**Let me know what you guys think! Give a vote and/or comment, I'd really appreciate it 3**


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